iridescentbeauty’s Reviews > Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids > Status Update

Unconditional love. Love your child for their good and bad days. Kids who grow up with unconditional love, it creates the best possible foundation for emotionally healthy adulthoods. Lead with loving and accepting yourself.

Delay smartphone ownership. Do the "Wait Until Eighth" pledge. (Consider a smartwatch thats limited to calls/text only for family contact).

Simplify environment: Children feel a sense of ease & focus in a room with less. It can calm behavioral issues. Lessen the clutter & children will appreciate their things more. De-clutter when child isn't home. Discard: broken toys, toys that do too much, very high stimulating toys, toy multiples. Keep toys for pretend play, creativity (tools, dolls, puppets, instruments). Less stuff, focus on what matters.

Children need a lot of sleep. A lack of sufficient sleep makes children cranky, prone to tantrums, uncooperative, and likely to get sick. Poor sleep impairs their growth. Children have enough sleep when they wake up on their own.

Don't use threats (If you don't do x, you won't get x). INSTEAD, think, "First we do x (the responsibility), then we do x (fun thing)." Establish culture of responsibilities, then threats won't be necessary. If they don't meet with expectations, respond empathetically but hold lovingly to the boundary.

A warm, positive relationship is the fuel for a cooperative relationship. Positive physical touch, play, working together, and praise are just a few of the many ways you can connect.

Rather than "good job," use I-messages to praise your child honestly and descriptively... Be specific in your encouragement. Ex: thank you for your kindness, I really appreciate how hard you tried for that, what you did was very generous, you showed enormous strength in handling this challenge, I love your sense of skepticism, Your imagination is awesome, thank you for reminding me how fun it is to be playful.

Unlike orders and threats, using I-messages and setting playful limits will make parenting easier over time -- children will learn that they can trust you and treat them with respect and consideration. They will automatically want to cooperate.

Create heartfelt connections thru play.

Attitudes and energy is infectious, if we can be a little playful, it can lighten everyone's mood and make children less resistant to requests. Set playful limits: Get into Character, Become contrary, Use silly language/sing silly songs, tell a crazy story, become incompetent, use dolls, toys, or your hand as a character.