خ.غ’s Reviews > The City and Its Uncertain Walls > Status Update

”I want to be yours,” the girl said. “In every way there is. Yours from top to bottom. I want to be one with you. I mean it.”

“Have you ever loved anyone else as much as you loved that girl? Had someone who was that precious to you?"

" ...never "

Life, after all, was a long, drawn-out struggle. No matter how much sadness there was, how much loss and despair awaited us, you had to steadily move forward, step by painful step.

Standing there alone, I always felt sad, a deep sadness I’d felt before, long, long ago. I remembered that sadness very well. A sadness that can’t be explained, that doesn’t melt away over time, that quietly leaves invisible wounds, in a place you cannot see.
And how can you deal with something you can’t see?

To you G:

My thoughts were still of you. I’d enter a small room deep in my heart and reach back into my memories.

It felt like standing on the edge of a deep hole, talking to the darkness at the bottom. Yet I knew you were there. I couldn’t see you. Or hear your voice. But you were there. That much I knew.

I’d close my eyes, lost in memories of my arms around you, our lips together. This was true when you were still with me, and even after you vanished somewhere.

I was so taken by you, I thought of nothing else when awake. You haunted my dreams, as well.