Joyce’s Reviews > Oracle > Status Update
Joyce
is 10% done
4 hours. They say it depends on your height, weight … the amount of space you take up vs. the amount of space that’s left over, how calm you can keep yourself after you’re put in the box. But who’s ever been down there in the dark holding a stopwatch until one’s dying breath? It’s only an educated guess, but most guesses agree: 4 hours max.
— Jan 31, 2026 06:34AM
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Joyce’s Previous Updates
Joyce
is 93% done
Not a fall as much as a folding, like taking down a tent, returning it to a size that could fit in a sack
— Feb 03, 2026 07:54PM
Joyce
is 87% done
I feel the hit … a scalding cut in the flesh above the elbow. … I’ve been shot.
The knife, the point going in just below my ribs … The pain isn’t at all like the burning heat of being shot. Knives are cold. Knives are ice. … I’m pulling it out with both hands, … the ice twice as cold as it exits.
— Feb 03, 2026 07:49PM
The knife, the point going in just below my ribs … The pain isn’t at all like the burning heat of being shot. Knives are cold. Knives are ice. … I’m pulling it out with both hands, … the ice twice as cold as it exits.
Joyce
is 66% done
Yet when he looked at us, it seemed as though he only saw a nagging cost he’d be glad to erase from the ledger one day.
— Feb 03, 2026 07:40PM
Joyce
is 65% done
How “for certain” are you?
You’re asking a psychic, Claire. I don’t do “for certain”.
— Feb 03, 2026 07:38PM
You’re asking a psychic, Claire. I don’t do “for certain”.
Joyce
is 64% done
A search for a child is fueled by coffee and terror in equal measures, and they both can be found easily anywhere
— Feb 03, 2026 07:36PM
Joyce
is 63% done
If you brought me up here to be smart, you brought the wrong guy.
— Feb 02, 2026 05:11AM
Joyce
is 53% done
Where’s your husband?
He might be at church. That’s where he tells me he goes. He may be praying to the Lord Budweiser at McConnell’s Pub, for all I know.
— Feb 01, 2026 02:36PM
He might be at church. That’s where he tells me he goes. He may be praying to the Lord Budweiser at McConnell’s Pub, for all I know.
Joyce
is 52% done
An open bag of bread on the counter, slices tumbling over each other as if in a stampede to get out of the opening …
— Feb 01, 2026 02:32PM

