Jen_C’s Reviews > Semper Mine > Status Update

“You’re not even going to really propose, are you? Just assume I’ll give you a place and time to show up?” “Pretty much. I figure when you’re ready, you’ll let me know.” “You really are serious.” Her eyes widen, and she faces me. “Yeah.”

Incredible isn’t enough of a word to describe last night. Sawyer was more than I expected of any man. ~~ I think he should have broken up with Harper (who is coming on Sunday) and she should have broken up with Oliver BEFORE they had unprotected sex.

“Just … out of curiosity … if fictional Katya asked fictional Sawyer to stay with her tonight, what would fictional Sawyer say?” I ask. “He’d say yes. Without hesitation.” The answer makes my heart somersault. “So you’re saying fictional Sawyer has none of the honor issues real Sawyer does.

We gaze at one another in heavy silence. Any hope I had of not being attracted to her, of not thinking she was the most incredible woman I’ve ever met, vanishes when I’m standing before her again. From the plump lips to her flushed cheeks, I can’t stop scouring her features, trying to memorize them so next time, I’m not caught off guard by her looks.

It’s not possible to get over the impact Sawyer Mathis has had on my life, no matter how much time passes. I want to. I’m trying. But it’s like trying to forget Mikael. It’ll never happen. Sending off the duck was like accepting that I’d never see either of them again. It hurt so much, I cried when I returned from the post office.

“Come in,” I call. Harper enters. “Good time?” she asks. “Always.” I set the paper aside, warmth stirring within me for a different reason than anger this time. Eff you, Katya. I can’t help thinking of her even now, when I’m about to spend the night with another woman.

The time I spent with Sawyer was frustrating, infuriating, crippling. He managed to pry me out of my shell and hold a mirror in front of me, so I could see how damaged I am. Like him, I’m broken by Mikael’s death. Am I fixable? Is he? I don’t think I’ll ever see him again. The idea crushes me. I’m too upset to know why exactly.

What role models for these kids of fallen soldiers! They are strangers- camp counselors to these kids. The "adults" have humiliated a 6-year-old by mentioning her bedwetting in front of everyone, cussed, attacked each other physically AND shared a bed with the 6-year-old! If I had sent my child to this camp, I think I would have some concerns.....

The woman I wrote off as a superficial bitch when we first met has incredible courage and loyalty to those she loves that puts a lot of Marines I know to shame. I get the sense she doesn’t let many people near her, but those she does, she keeps, defends, and loves to her last breath. This knowledge is what makes me so uneasy.

I want so bad to forget, to blame the cold man who let my brothers get hurt. Any other time, I can. Right now, it’s impossible to remain angry with him, when I’m starting to realize that he’s as broken inside as Petr was. He simply hides it better. “You’re safe.”