Thursday Next > Status Update

Made it to Wednesday. How’s your hump day been?

You’re ⬆️1️⃣.

Ooh and 3:33

There are a few 🦇🐈‍⬛🖤 nods

Let me take care of a few things and then circle back to look at the rest.

The lateness is bugging me and I’ve got phone calls on my list.

See you by 5
H

Alright, 5:03

I was close

(I’m looking at things, mostly stories right now)

I’m not sure about Professional Vengeance**

(Zoinks)

(Why yes indeed, I do use Scooby-Doo-esque exclamations on occasion.)

Now I just need a decedent reason to say “jinkies!”

WAP* x Futile Devices was not on my bingo card for the foreseeable future

I’m pondering everything.

What can I say to you that isn’t just me repeating myself?

I miss listening to you and talking with you (In more traditional ways than this, I mean).

How can I convey that same information and sense of loss and longing
in a way that is novel for you, and feels particularly meaningful?

Say Yes To Heaven got slipped in here too

I’m trying not to feel hopeless and alone

It’s just the anxiety of feeling far away and not connected

Because I’d like to feel closer and have a less abstract interaction with you

And if I let myself think about it too hard for too long, I start feeling crazy for talking to you and “believing” that you talk back.

Ugh, please someone tell me I’m not crazy.

(Or that I’m not alone in my craziness.

Because we both must be somewhat crazy to be playing our respective parts in this… right?)

But at least there’s no one else I’d rather be co-crazy with via participatory association.

(A co-crazy sounds like a co-pilot for crazy antics and shenanigans.
That feels like kind of a fun thing to seek out & have…)

So, if I were to send you a brief hello email this weekend, it wouldn’t ruin your life, right?

(I’m still undecided, but I have been considering it.
However, I don’t want to do that if there’s someone else involved who doesn’t know about everything.)

I don’t want or need to have any involvement (albeit unintentional) with starting shit in your life.

Sigh

(I’m sorry if you believe something to the contrary.

Starting shit in your life is not ever my desire or objective at this point.

)

Ugh why do I have to miss your stupid face

(Note that your face is not actually stupid. But missing it makes me want to call it that.)

(Do you ever miss seeing mine? I haven’t shared any images of myself online in a long while now I guess.)

Would that make a difference, if I were more active on social media?

Probably not (but just curious).

Because I guess that you have secondhand Friend access to my FB.
Not sure about Instagram though.

light**
?

I would rather see your smile than the moonlight, actually.
(If forced to choose, that is.
You smiling *in* moonlight would be better.)

But you smiling, in general,
is better than most other things I can think of seeing…

Why are you so sweet?

It makes me blush and get shy

BAILE INoLVIDABLE

Come now, there’s no need to talk like we’ve permanently gone our separate ways, is there?

You can’t just say that I was your unforgettable dance and be done with it.

You owe me more dances.

(Please?)

I can provide you with alcohol or pot if it will make the dancing more fun and less self-consciousness-inducing.

But I’m gonna collect on that prom night’s worth of dances (minus 1, paid in 2017).

Just think—
you and me, out at show which was worth looking forward to, both tipsy, and they start playing something catchy, and then we get to be silly and dance to it & laugh together.

No shame or stress about being publicly goofy and giddy together and enjoying ourselves. Just playfulness and joy and flirtatious interactions.

Can you picture it?

I can.

I swear that we would have the best time.

Because that’s how it was when we got to hang out in person in the 2010’s

Do you have any idea how crazy it drove me that you drunkenly grabbed my hand and colored in part of my arm?
Because of course I wanted you to grab my hand, and of course I wanted you to find a reason to not let go, and of course I wanted you to leave your mark on me—evidence of your sustained touch.

I didn’t want you to stop.
I would have let you keep going until my whole damn body had become your own personal coloring book,
if you would have kept touching me and holding onto my hand, or my arm, or whatever.

You used to draw on me in high school, when I’d come sit next to you in physics.

It drove me crazy (good kind of crazy) way back then too.

You were always so good at being touchy in subtle ways.
I loved it but I also questioned whether your intentions were always just platonically playful.

I was forever wanting to be playful with you, but I longed for platonic frameworks to have no place in our interactions.

I want to know if you’re a touchy person in a romantic relationship.
If you crave and seek out a lot of physical contact.

My intuition says yes, based on other things I’ve experienced.

But I want to know for sure, firsthand, by seeing what you do and what you enjoy receiving.

Because, when it comes to what you like and don’t like, I want to learn every detail of everything

Ugh why does that thought make me so happy...
Am I weird for that?