Thursday Next > Status Update

Hiii

I’m sorry, I guess pondering sexy lizards was too much effort for my brain to be exerting at that hour; I passed out last night.

:/

Happy Friday, tho

And happy 11:11

How’s your day gone so far, dearest one?

sigh
Tell me about Chest Pains (I Love)*. :(

Hmm that shouldn’t have been plural, just the one pain apparently

(I am looking at and collating things here, I did not just poof disappear)

The full list

8—
Chest Pain (I Love)*
In the Mood*
august (well ⬅️that’s unexpected… hmm)
Empire**
7—
not a lot, just forever
It’s Just Us*
So in Love With You** (this appears to be 9th Wonder sampling a song from the 70’s)

3—
Everywhere

1—
Clumsy* (FN ad)
<1—
are you falling in love?** (I’m not positive about the ID on this being correct, checking now)

Ah yes, that last one was actually A New Kind Of Love - Demo*
(Is there a non-demo version of that song? I don’t think there is…)

Oh and I missed the recent addition of the theme song (I think?) from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses

(Hey, that might be important!)

😇

I missed the whole thing where they did animated Barbie movies / tv / whatever

So now I find their existence amusing

12:34

Arg its late

Here let me take a pause and handle some life business.

I’ll be back around 2?
H

On the dot

(2pm)

How goes it?

I done something to say (add)

I spoils do a diligence loop.

I’m avoiding a phone call I need to make, meh

*I -should- do a diligence loop

Say Yes To Heaven, on both apps (I think)

Oh there’s either a newly(ish) added 🦇🖤🐈‍⬛(💋)
or I missed it before.

I did a bit of 📌 shuffling too.

I’m sitting with Scar Tissue

Okay, I see 3:33

Which means I need to stop procrastinating and make 1-2 annoying phone calls (depending on if the first one needs a followup)

If this takes more than an hour l'm gonna fake cry (from annoyance at wasting an hour of my life).

So hopefully I’ll be back around/by 4:30?

Hope your FriYAY afternoon is flying by!
H

Alright, that wasn’t the news I wanted (first call), but the second call did result in some eventual progress.

I don’t think I missed anything newish.
(Just diligence, not an objection)

*briefly ponders the universe*

I think I don’t have more words just yet.

I’m curious about your scar tissue, though.

And what you wish I could see that I haven’t yet been exposed to

I’m not curious in a fearful way, though.

I just want to know how you are, and to understand things so that I’ll be more informed about how to better support you.

Scar tissue doesn’t necessarily hurt (at least not the literal kind), but if you have tender spots, I care and I want to hear about any and all of it (but only as much as you are inclined to share).

I miss when I was one of your safe places for rambling about stuff that was bugging you / stressing you out / causing anxiety / etc.

I’m sorry for how you lost that outlet when I broke things.

I hope that someday it may become safe again for you to just type floods about all the things filling up your mind, and feel free to do so without fear of being judged or made to feel worse.

I always kind of felt like no one in my life understood how much loss I was experiencing when you and I stopped being in contact.

Because I felt like it was hard for people to understand how much we talked, and the way in which we often talked about anything and everything.

I don’t think most people are in constant-ish contact with any one person like that.

Not even their partners (at least, not necessarily, although it’s certainly possible to talk to a partner that much).

When we were
well, when you were backing off from talking to me (I’m thinking of like, spring/summer 2018),

I noticed that often, when I have you more space to choose whether/when to respond, and how much to say, you said more.

It gave me the impression that you were very torn about not talking so much.

Like,
sigh
the feeling I got was that you needed to step back, because you needed the space, and because you were setting boundaries about certain things you found unacceptable…
but you didn’t want to have to be in that position.

You didn’t want to feel like you needed to take increasing amounts of distance.
It felt like you missed being able to talk more frequently and freely.

*I noticed that often, when I -gave- you more space to choose…

I’m really sorry for doing that to you.

I wasn’t doing it maliciously (or even really intentionally, I was just breaking down)
but I still did it to you.

I see Coffee* (which I thought was ** at first)

(The version that I’ve got saved includes someone else singing back to her)

“death bed (coffee for your head)” by Powfu

(That version quickly gets depressing af)

But the original appears to be the 1st song she ever wrote; "the cringiest love long" (her words) for her (green-eyed) boyfriend.