Mallory’s Reviews > The Marvelous Land of Oz > Status Update
Mallory
is on page 169 of 287
“We are extremely kind-hearted,” said the Tin Woodman, TWIRLING HIS AXE MENACINGLY. Baum is unhinged in the best way. I too encourage threatening violence against pretentious snobs.
Yay, the queen of the field mice returns! For all the favors she grants them, they’re gonna have to do something else for her soon.
Is… is the plan literally to just scare the invaders because girls must be afraid of mice? -_-
— Feb 24, 2026 05:53PM
Yay, the queen of the field mice returns! For all the favors she grants them, they’re gonna have to do something else for her soon.
Is… is the plan literally to just scare the invaders because girls must be afraid of mice? -_-
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Mallory’s Previous Updates
Mallory
is on page 191 of 287
Not the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman just unabashedly hating on the Woggle-Bug. Everyone freaking hates this dude and I don’t blame them. XD
Technically none of them can cannibalize each other, because none of them are the same species.
WHAT? What do you MEAN the previous King Pastoria lost the Emerald City to the Wizard?? I thought the Wizard BUILT the city? That makes no sense!! Baum needs to stop retconning!
— Feb 26, 2026 12:43AM
Technically none of them can cannibalize each other, because none of them are the same species.
WHAT? What do you MEAN the previous King Pastoria lost the Emerald City to the Wizard?? I thought the Wizard BUILT the city? That makes no sense!! Baum needs to stop retconning!
Mallory
is on page 181 of 287
“Doing housework and minding the children is wearing out the strength of every man in the Emerald City.” “If it is such hard work as you say, how did the women manage it so easily?” “I really do not know. Perhaps the women are made of cast-iron.” ICONIC exchange.
For someone so educated, the Woggle-Bug can’t seem to tell that the Scarecrow is gay as hell and already married to the Tin Woodman. Idiot.
— Feb 26, 2026 12:25AM
For someone so educated, the Woggle-Bug can’t seem to tell that the Scarecrow is gay as hell and already married to the Tin Woodman. Idiot.
Mallory
is on page 159 of 287
I don’t know why, but the Woggle-Bug is just so vastly uninteresting to me. I don’t think we needed another companion.
WHY DO WE KEEP ABUSING THE SAW-HORSE? He hasn’t done anything! Tip being like “we’d leave him behind if we could.” WHAT A DEADBEAT FATHER YOU ARE. He’s like Denethor with the eldest son favoritism going on.
The amputation/grafting, though just wood and painless, is horrifying to me.
— Feb 24, 2026 05:24PM
WHY DO WE KEEP ABUSING THE SAW-HORSE? He hasn’t done anything! Tip being like “we’d leave him behind if we could.” WHAT A DEADBEAT FATHER YOU ARE. He’s like Denethor with the eldest son favoritism going on.
The amputation/grafting, though just wood and painless, is horrifying to me.
Mallory
is on page 147 of 287
How could Mombi have figured out that Tip befriended the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman? The ladies wouldn’t know Tip was significant to Mombi. Has she been magically spying on him this whole time??
Oh no, is the Woggle-Bug going to be the next Cowardly Lion? I don’t know why the flesh and blood characters are always the least interesting and likable, but somehow they are. Also, don’t we have enough people yet?
— Feb 24, 2026 01:50AM
Oh no, is the Woggle-Bug going to be the next Cowardly Lion? I don’t know why the flesh and blood characters are always the least interesting and likable, but somehow they are. Also, don’t we have enough people yet?
Mallory
is on page 135 of 287
THE TIN WOODMAN CAUGHT THE SCARECROW IN A CLOSE AND LOVING EMBRACE. HE HAS A PORTRAIT OF HIM THAT IS THE MOST PROMINENT AND CAREFULLY EXECUTED. But sure, they’re “just friends.”
The Tin Woodman really looked Jack up and down and went “third?” And I support this.
Oh dear, Nick is gonna start chopping heads, as he’s want to do. The ladies of Oz better look out.
Aw, Jack complimenting the Saw-Horse. :)
— Feb 24, 2026 01:26AM
The Tin Woodman really looked Jack up and down and went “third?” And I support this.
Oh dear, Nick is gonna start chopping heads, as he’s want to do. The ladies of Oz better look out.
Aw, Jack complimenting the Saw-Horse. :)
Mallory
is on page 121 of 287
NICK CHOPPER?!? SINCE WHEN DOES THE TIN WOODMAN HAVE A NAME??? Scarecrow just dropped that like it wasn’t a MAJOR REVEAL?! TF
The Winged Monkeys are slaves of Glinda’s? I thought she used the three wishes to send everyone where they wanted to go and then she set the monkeys free by giving them their cap back?????
Wow, if only Dorothy ever cared for the Scarecrow as much as Tip cares for Jack Pumpkinhead.
— Feb 23, 2026 12:14AM
The Winged Monkeys are slaves of Glinda’s? I thought she used the three wishes to send everyone where they wanted to go and then she set the monkeys free by giving them their cap back?????
Wow, if only Dorothy ever cared for the Scarecrow as much as Tip cares for Jack Pumpkinhead.
Mallory
is on page 109 of 287
“Please excuse me while I pause and reflect.”
“Then you would not be fit to associate with.”
“For, from the ease with which he was conquered, I have little confidence in his powers.”
As always the Scarecrow is a hoot and a half. You could fill a whole quotes pages with just his lines.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN JACK WILL DIE IN A COUPLE DAYS? THAT BETTER NOT BE TRUE.
NO DON’T SHAVE YOUR WHISKERS, ARMY MAN.
— Feb 22, 2026 11:57PM
“Then you would not be fit to associate with.”
“For, from the ease with which he was conquered, I have little confidence in his powers.”
As always the Scarecrow is a hoot and a half. You could fill a whole quotes pages with just his lines.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN JACK WILL DIE IN A COUPLE DAYS? THAT BETTER NOT BE TRUE.
NO DON’T SHAVE YOUR WHISKERS, ARMY MAN.
Mallory
is on page 97 of 287
How can L. Frank Baum be progressive and yet misogynistic at once. An all-female revolution, wanting to overthrow their oppressors?? Iconic. Them just gabbing all the time and wanting the royal jewels to buy new dresses and all of them being necessarily pretty? Yikes.
The Soldier with the Green Whiskers not actually hesitating to attack a woman if his gun was loaded.
Scarecrow would probably just step aside tbh.
— Feb 19, 2026 01:59AM
The Soldier with the Green Whiskers not actually hesitating to attack a woman if his gun was loaded.
Scarecrow would probably just step aside tbh.
Mallory
is on page 83 of 287
What the heck did I just read? Why would someone who doesn’t know anything just ASSUME a language barrier like that? He’d have no reason to!
Love how Jellia Jamb was immediately like “I must go laugh at this situation. Yes, I speak both languages!”
I loveee that the Scarecrow and Jack Pumpkinhead are best friends now! Dare I say… the Tin Woodman might have some romantic competition for Scarecrow…?
— Feb 19, 2026 01:40AM
Love how Jellia Jamb was immediately like “I must go laugh at this situation. Yes, I speak both languages!”
I loveee that the Scarecrow and Jack Pumpkinhead are best friends now! Dare I say… the Tin Woodman might have some romantic competition for Scarecrow…?
Mallory
is on page 71 of 287
AND JACK WAS ABOUT TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF TO THE WATER JUST AS SCARECROW DID. It’s the same story, guys!
I like to think the Scarecrow specially hired a ferry for the river so that no one would be left behind as he almost was once.
The way Jack and the Saw-Horse just continue on after losing Tip. XD
Why is the Saw-Horse being stabled? He can talk just like Jack! They both deserve an audience with the king!
— Feb 19, 2026 01:26AM
I like to think the Scarecrow specially hired a ferry for the river so that no one would be left behind as he almost was once.
The way Jack and the Saw-Horse just continue on after losing Tip. XD
Why is the Saw-Horse being stabled? He can talk just like Jack! They both deserve an audience with the king!
