viiic’s Reviews > How to Kill a Witch: A Guide for the Patriarchy > Status Update

“women were viewed as being difficult and foolish as well as being sexually dangerous*

* Riddle us this: men were morally stronger than women, but they also had to be on their guard not to be tempted to sexual impropriety by those sneaky sex pots.” Yeah, that’s one of their greatest contradictions

“not unlike the jackdaw, women are easily enticed with shiny items and fripperies. They look not into the depths but seek only the surface reflection.
And this is as it should be.
Women were made by God to be man’s inferior in order to assist and support their men and fulfil their physical potential unto the glory of God.” I love this

“Eve fell prey to the temptations of the serpent, whereas Adam did not. And why was she entranced by the Devil’s appalling charms?
Because she was designed that way.
As we all know and is clear in our everyday dealings, man is superior not only in physical size and strength, but in every conceivable manner. Even the most intelligent of women can never be a true match for man.” Nice.

“are witches not, in truth, ‘simple raving creatures’ suffering from ‘melancholique imaginations’? Again, no … we find some 16th-century body-shaming given as the reason. Apparently, those who have a ‘natural humour of the melancholie’ are lean, pale and ‘desire of solitude’, but, in sharp contrast, a great number of witches are ‘rich and worldly-wise, some of them fatte or corpulent in their bodies” How lovely

“The Devil responded that the King was the greatest enemy he had in the world. …*

* The subtext here is that the King of Scotland must be exceedingly virtuous and godly if he is the Devil’s greatest adversary. How lucky the people of Scotland are to have such a holy man to protect them from the Devil and his minions. And how lucky the English would be if he were to become their King too!” How convenient

“they found the Devil’s mark on her throat*

* A Devil’s mark (or witch’s mark) was a blemish such as a mole, skin tag, wart, scar or unhealed area on the body. It might not bleed or hurt when the skin is ‘pricked’. The mark was said to be physical proof of the Devil’s pact with his initiate.” I would be SO FUCKED lmaoooo

“Of course, as no one else heard the evidence given (which I don’t need to tell you is highly unusual, but as it is the King, all bets are off), we will never know exactly what was said. However, there was quite the look of satisfaction on the King’s face upon his re-entry into the court” This is just disgusting

“The King took her away into an antechamber and questioned her more closely in complete privacy. The King insisted upon no one accompanying him, though this caused some consternation and disquiet amongst the religious men in court. If the accused is a witch, and there seems very little doubt on that point from the King, then is it not very dangerous for our King to be on his own with the Devil’s assistant?” Oh god

“Ane Koldings confessed — under torture — that she, along with several other witches, had met at the home of Karen the Weaver*

* An early example of the demonizing of women named Karen.” That’s kinda funny (but so sad when you think about it

“Valkendorff then promptly played the witchcraft card in his defence, claiming that the problems experienced by the fleet had nothing to do with anything as straightforward as lack of proper funding of the Admiralty and insufficient investment in the ships. The true cause, he said, was the result of the work of witches, who had sent little demons … to cause bad weather.
Yes, you read that correctly.” I love them