Mallory’s Reviews > Ozma of Oz > Status Update

YAY JACK’S STILL ACTIVE. WOO!

Jinjur?? What a random aside! Why are we touching base with her?? How dare she stay in the Emerald City after attempting to conquer it! And not her being a husband-beater. Good lord.

Baum hates scholars so much, it’s hilarious. The way the school is just kinda there to distract those who are otherwise useless.

Oh my god this goddamn Tiger. No one cares about his appetite ugh.

Dear lord these children are dumb as rocks. The whistle is GREEN and MADE OF TIN. HOW CAN BOTH Y’ALL BE THAT THICK? Especially Dorothy. I thought they were about the same age, but Evring must be a freaking toddler, he’s so stupid. Love the way Bill basically told him to shut up.

THE SCARECROW HAD FAIRLY THROWN HIMSELF UPON THE BOSOM OF HIS OLD COMRADE. They’re never beating the allegations. THEY’RE MARRIED.

He’s just GONE?? How?? Why is the Tin Woodman so different from everyone else? He’s not even the only non-organic being there by a long-shot.

And I can’t believe no one demanded to know what object the king turned him into??? How are they supposed to look for him if they don’t know what they’re looking for? They’re just leaving immediately instead. Why are they always so quick to abandon comrades??

Okay, NOW the Nome King is acting unfairly. Calling his army when they, as far as he knows, won fairly.

Bill is the MVP of this showdown. Freeing everyone, then telling the Scarecrow to throw the eggs, and THEN getting Dorothy to disarm the Nome King by getting his magic belt from him. Truly iconic chicken.

But where is the Tin Woodman?? Why is he not gold or green?

Why can’t the magic belt work on wood? Wtf

“The Nome King hasn’t treated us honestly.” Yes, he has?? He may be a little freak who likes to transmogrify people, but he very clearly laid out the rules of the game, and everyone willingly agreed to them. And he was actually going to let Dorothy go after she won herself and Evring’s freedom fair and square. Sure, he’s turning on them now, but Bill technically did cheat. The king’s awful but honest.

Eggs are poison because they come from above and the Nomes are below? What kind of random piece of worldbuilding that is. Plenty of other things come from above and the king isn’t scared of any of those.

I can’t say enough how much I love Bill. Her attitude is iconic.

Not Dorothy more than ready to abandon her friends AGAIN. She’s not even gonna try to make another deal with the king for their safety? Wow.

It keeps not going at all how I expect it’s going to. Dorothy going in without Bill talking to her first, just by chance actually managing to pick one correctly and save herself from being ornamented. I keep assuming there’s gonna be some dramatic success where someone (Dorothy) finds and transforms everyone altogether.

Why are the Lion and Tiger allowed to go free? Why not ornament them too just for funsies?

NOT THE TIN WOODMAN. How tragic that he and Scarecrow got separated, possibly FOREVER. He’s worried about his PRIDE. What a faithful husband. :(

I honestly half expected Tiktok to just matter-of-factly declare what each of the transformed objects were. He always seems to know everything.

Somehow Bill being left in the throne room is going to be significant and help our protagonists win the game, I just know it!

I love the way this trial is structured like a classic fairytale but then subverts it. At first you think that Ozma will succeed, because she’s a main character. Even as her guesses dwindle down, you think she’ll be victorious in the end. And then she lets fate take the last guess, and you think against all odds it’ll be correct. But NOPE. She freaking dies (for all intents and purposes, anyway). No morals! XD

I’m surprised that fairytale logic caveat didn’t work on the Nome king. That shit always works.

Seriously, Ozma, you expected to conquer a whole kingdom with twenty-seven men? You really are a child.

What is it with fairytale people? Why can’t the king just ask for gold or something like a normal person? Instead it’s this weird challenge puzzle. What perverse pleasure does he get out of this kinda ordeal?