Troy Terwilliger’s Reviews > Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection > Status Update

Sometimes we commit to someone without really knowing them…

If you "Stop Rushing It," you give the relationship space to breathe. You move from a state of Panic to a state of Presence.

ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO IMPROVE YOUR PARTNER

Some people really have the energy to fight this much. Huh…

What the fuck are you fighting about anyway?

In the Gottman framework, a Validator is someone who prioritizes verbalizing that they "get" where you’re coming from, even if they don't necessarily agree with the logic.
Since you're reading Fight Right, you'll notice that having a validating partner creates a massive amount of Emotional Capital. It makes the "Royal Road" much smoother because you aren't constantly dodging the "Four Horsemen."

Conflict < Curiosity