Ariana’s Reviews > Is This a Cry for Help? > Status Update

“And I was their baby. A little girl watching her mom, trying to understand how to be a person.
And at one point my mom was a baby too. A little girl watching her mom.”

Why did I choose this job? Why did I pursue this? Why didn't anyone warn me that I'd spend days telling people not to cook meat in the bathroom while hearing others chant from outside that I'm a pedophile? I just wanted to be around books and help people. I could go home right now, lie under the lavender comforter on my bed with my cats, and apply for a job in a law library or as a cataloger. I don't have to do this.

“I don't consider if Joy will think I'm a nag, or find me unattractive, if I look bad when I tell her I'm upset. I speak to her openly. I don't weigh the pros and cons of expressing my honest thoughts and feelings to her. I'm not plotting what I do, say, and wear like I'm an actress in a play prepping for a scene. I'm not playing the part of her partner. I am her partner.”

“I'd sooner defend the image of me as a hideous, withered hag, rather than the image of me as a coy, quiet, sexualized teenaged girl. It's appalling that i was trained to behave the way I was when I was younger, and I think of it as a societal betrayal and a depraved way to treat girls.”

“We’d pay thousands of dollars to feed distant relatives dry, unseasoned chicken, and we'd take photos with big fake smiles in our kitschy wedding regalia, like clowns. I'd post the photos on social media annually to assert how inspira-tionally normal I was.”

“She would say that this is just a job, and while I care about my job, it isn’t my whole life. The grass is going to keep growing. The stars aren’t going to burn out. At the end of the day, I’m standing here telling people to mute their porn. Nothing is so serious.”