Mr. James’s Reviews > Roadwork > Status Update

"Better than what you're doing." Vinnie turned away abruptly, almost bumping Santa, who said something that sounded suspiciously like watch where the fuck you're going. -- S.K.

Pouring hot mix asphalt onto my scalp would be more entertaining than this Bachman book. Coincidentally, they're both painful.

She was like the rest of the kids, like Vinnie, like the people that thought education was truth: she wanted propaganda, complete with charts, not an answer. -- S.K.

She was smiling. "You have a nice sense of irony."
"It's my sad life." -- S.K.

"Are you going to tell me I hurt the corporation? I don't think even you are capable of such a lie. After a corporation gets to a certain size, nothing can hurt it. It gets to be an act of God. When things are good it makes a huge profit, and when things are bad it makes a profit, and when things go to hell it takes a tax deduction. Now you know that." -- SK

dork (dôrk) n. 1. an odd, socially awkward, unstylish person. 2. Slang: A stupid, inept, or foolish person. 3. Vulgar Slang: Male genitalia. 4. A used car salesman that thinks he's Tony Soprano. 5. Stephen King. 6. A high school librarian that wears a top hat.

Oh the irony: Imagine Stephen King telling Richard Bachman to murder a room full of corporate executives because he didn't want to get his hands dirty.

King's side gig at the laundromat is paying off. He can't get stains out of your blood soaked t-shirt, but he'll make a badass tie-dye.