V¡CT∅R |-|UG∅’s Reviews > My Story > Status Update

🌟"I knew what I had known when I was thirteen and walked along the sea edge in a bathing suit for the first time. I knew I belonged to the Public and to the world, not because I was talented, or even beautiful but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else. The Public was the only family, the only Prince Charming and the only home I had ever dreamed of."🌟

"The disillusion comes when I meet a moviestar I’ve been admiring since childhood.
I always thought that movie stars were exciting and talented people full of special personality. Meeting one of them at a party I discover usually that he (or she) is colorless and even frightened. I’ve often stood silent at a party for hours listening to my movie idols turn into dull and little people."

"The worst thing that happens to people when they dress up and go to a party is that they leave their real[...]They play that they’re important, and they want you to meet their importance, not themselves. But worse than that is the fact that when people are being “social” they don’t dare be human or intelligent."

"[...] but I made a promise to myself I won’t forget.[...]I would start learning—everything. I would read all the books and find out about all the wonders there were in the world."

"I felt then that my jealous friend was more interested in those men than in me, and that he was hiding a homosexuality in his pretended jealousy pains.I did all I could to lessen Johnny Hyde’s fears. I never went out with other men. I was as faithful to him as he was kind to me."

"Men who think that a woman’s past love affairs lessen her love for them are usually stupid and weak. A woman can bring a new love to each man she loves,[...]The most unsatisfactory men are those who pride themselves on their virility and regard sex as if it were some form of athletics at which you win cups.[...]The real lover is the man who can thrill you by just touching"

Kindness is the strangest thing to find in a lover—or in anybody. Johnny’s kindness made him seem the most wonderful human being I’d ever met.[...]My heart ached with gratitude, and I would have cut my head off for him. But the love he hoped for wasn’t in me. You might as well try to make yourself fly as to make yourself love.

After he left, I cried all night, not over what he had said but over what I had to do. I had to leave him.The moment I thought it, I realized I’d known it for a long time. That’s why I’d been sad—and desperate. That’s why I had tried to make myself more and more beautiful for him, why I had clung to him as if I were half mad. Because I had known it was ending.[...]To love without hope is a sad thing for the heart.

"When you’re young,you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.[...]I was still flying from that world, and it was still around me.It was while I lay on this ocean bottom, figuring never to see daylight again, that I fell in love for the first time.[...]hoisted me into the air, and stood me on my feet looking at the world as if i'd just been born"