Jess’s Reviews > Releasing 10 > Status Update

"You'll be there when I come home?"
Pain.
It scorched me.
"Of course."
A few minutes later, when they were gone and I was left alone with Catherine, I heard her say, "You lied to her, didn't you?" Tears filled her eyes. "You won't be there when she comes home."
Shaking my head, I roughly wiped my tears away. "I'm sorry."

"You're going to go away for a little while and get some rest," I coaxed, pulling back to smile at her. "And no one in town is going to be any the wiser."
"I’m so sorry," she sobbed, fisting my shirt. "I want to die for what I've done to you."

"Hugh," Liz sniffled, as her father led her away. "You can't tell anyone where I'm going."
Rising from my chair, I moved to intercept them before it was too late.
I didn't care how pathetic it made me look; I needed to hold her one more time.

She was imbedded in the foundations of who I was as a person.
She was ingrained in every fundamental life choice I had made from the age of seven.
Getting over her wouldn't happen overnight. If it took an equal measure of time to unlove a person, then I had nine years of misery to contend with.
I was sixteen now, so that meant I would be twenty-five before she finally left my system.

Afraid she would bolt if I left, I remained right by her side, needing her safe more than I needed my pride. I would sit here all night if it meant Liz got the help she needed.

I was going away today, and I didn't know when Id be back.
The fear clawing its way up my throat was terrifying, and the reckless streak inside of me was demanding I run for the hils.
But I wouldn't.
Because I knew I had to take accountability.
My mother was lying in a hospital bed because of me, and my entire world had been blown to smithereens.

"Dad, I'm scared." I strangled out, chest heaving. "I’m so fucking scared of my own mind."

"I just want to stop hurting people," I replied, crying quietly into my hands. "I want to be me again, Dad.""

"No, Dad," I choked out, drowning in my emotions as every part of me shook. "I really think I need to go away now."
"What are you saying, Elizabeth?"
"I don't feel right in the head," I cried, covering my face with my hands. "And I don't want to hurt people anymore."
"You want to go back to the hospital?"
Yes.
No.
Maybe.