Whitney FI’s Reviews > Our Hideous Progeny > Status Update

I suppose that is why it often makes me sad to read about history, or even natural history, as you do; I cannot help but think of everyone whose tale cannot fit in one book, those poor creatures who remain lost or forgotten. Do you think that one day, some Mary of the future will sketch our bones and wonder what we might have been in life?

And I suppose, in fairness, there must have been something of the gambler in me too. For despite how much I longed to think myself a sensible and rational soul, I had sat and penned that letter, wagering all I had left on the chance that he would agree to my proposal. Perhaps I meant to drown after all, I remember thinking, worrying at my lip until I tasted blood. But if I do, at least it'll have been by my own hand.

Of course it mattered; perhaps the knowledge would not help build bridges or make new medicines, but that's not all science was about. Science was the truth, about knowing what was possible and what was not; it was about the fervour I had felt looking upon the beached whale, or the fossil tooth in Catherine's palm. I had spent my whole life since in service to that same longing: the ravenous beast that was curiosity.

Later, I would think about those words - I've got no use for it - over and over, letting them sink like needles into my skin. But in the moment, I was too distressed to notice, for all I could think of were the tears pricking at my eyes, the warmth of her hands around mine. She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, as friends do. As the French very often do. And then I ruined our friendship entirely.

It was a subject of constant debate between the two of us, whether the curtains ought to be left open or shut to prevent the books from fading. Evidently I won that day - for it was through a haze of that rare London sunshine that I watched through the doorway as an envelope slid from the letterbox and landed with a gentleness that did not match the gravity of its contents, on the chequered hallway floor.