Allie Frazier’s Reviews > Half His Age > Status Update

“I want to be like them. Like people my age. People who have things in common with other people my age. I'm tired of being on the outside looking in. Studying, observing, but never just being. Maybe it could be good to try to fit in. To try to be like them. To try to be my age.”

“This is all my worst fears combined, drowning me, swallowing me whole. I'm unlovable. I'm unworthy. I'm too much and not enough at the same time. I'm a child. I'm stupid. I'm naive. I'm ugly. I'm too sensitive. Too emotional. Too angry. Too fucking angry.
I want to be grateful that I'm feeling so much. Unthawed after years of being numb.”

oh the desire to feel wanted

“And if this thing won’t leave, the best I can do is shove a pacifier in it to shut it up. And there’s only one clear pacifier I can think of.”

"You're my priority. Always have been, even if there are times it doesn't seem like it. Times I fail as a mother. I'm not gonna fail again. I'm gonna be better."
And then she looks at me-her green eyes coated in a knowing glaze, an awareness of all her shortcomings combined with a real desire to change—and I can't help but believe her.
"I know, Mom," I say. "I know you are."

“I chose comfort over betting on myself.”

“And afterward, they re-buckle their pants and I re-clasp my bra and accept in the awkward silence the itchy fact that I settled for pleasure when I wanted connection, an itchy fact that I refuse to scratch by saying it out loud, so instead we go and get ice cream.
Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the problem. My mom called me hard to love… even though she swore she didn't mean it”