Ally’s Reviews > Queen of Faces > Status Update

[oh wait, I'm dumb - of course it's not notable when protag shares her backstory with deuterag, deuterag is already targeting her.]

[ok, I'm struggling with some plot holes I think - how does Neville Longbottom know about the poison? How does protag tell deutarag her origin story without deuterag figuring out she's the reason his hand got chopped off?

I *am* loving the emerging transfem solidarity-with-sapphic-subtext between the SW girl & the tech girl.]

"Otherwise known as a butterfly knife. [...] I give code names to all the mercenary groups under my command. Yours is engraved on the side."

[...] Queen Sulfur. The endangered butterfly species [...] The one that could grow huge if it survived to adulthood.

[aw jeez after the great "most caterpillars die" lines we are actually gonna do the trans butterfly metaphor?]

"Branches don't just come with training. They come from personal epiphanies. And true epiphany is action. To grow your codex, you must grow as a person. [...] Magic isn't power. Magic isn't control," he said. "Magic is the art of changing yourself."

"On that day," said Adam, "I had just two shillings and a pencil."

[yep, definitely evil Harry]

"In a few years - it won't matter what body I put myself into - my pith will decay, and I'll be wetting the bed and forgetting my own name. Before long, you'll all be twiddling your thumbs at my funeral."

[I LOVE AUTHOR-IS-AWARE-OF-HIS-EVILNESS DUMBLEDORE]

This would have been my life without my ousting. Hosting events with Samuel. Drawing eyeballs like moths to a flame, devouring their attention. Shaping the arc of history like a knife carving meat.

[PLEASE GOD WHERE ARE YOU EDITOR -- this prose would be totally workable if somebody, anybody was giving line-level feedback, providing any pushback on the busted similes]