Shannon’s Reviews > Story of My Life > Status Update

“Is this where you take all the girls to murder them and throw their bodies in the lake?” I asked. Cam reached over and retrieved the beer and food. “Only one way to find out.” It was a good thing I was hungry enough to gnaw off my own arm because I doubted anything else would have gotten me out of the truck. Muttering every creative obscenity I could think of under my breath, I shoved my door open.

“…The worst thing that ever happened to you is still the worst thing that ever happened to you. You don’t have to feel guilty that something even worse didn’t happen. That’s really fuckin’ stupid.”

“Nobody likes a romance novel heroine with no libido,” I muttered to myself. “What was that?” Gage asked, looking at me like he actually expected me to repeat myself. Oops. Right. I had actual humans in my house. I didn’t get to just shuffle around and mutter things out loud anymore. That would take some getting used to. “Er, nothing,” I croaked.

“Okay, but try not to accidentally drop-kick any babies on your way out,” she warned, firing finger guns at me. I clamped a hand over her mouth and looked over my shoulder. “Zoey, I’m begging you to shut up before you start a new rumor so I can enjoy my five minutes of not being hated.” She wriggled out of my grip. “Fair point…”

“Did you build an entire chicken coop just to get out of taking in helpless animals, Livvy?” “That’s diabolical” Isla said. “I don’t know where we went wrong Frank. This is the paintball incident all over again isn’t it?” Mom said. “For fuck’s sake! I swear on Grandma Bernie’s lemon square recipe I did not shoot up that barn door.” “Bullshit,” Gage and I said together.

“Do you at least have a rental I can borrow?” I asked. He looked as if I’d just suggested he remove his pants and jog down the street naked. “A rental for the rental you destroyed? No, ma’am. I do not.” “Thank you so much for your help,” I said, heavy on the sarcasm. “You’re welcome. Try to stay off the roads now. Oh, and don’t try to murder any more wildlife,” Gator said,

“Uh, Haze. When did you go live on Facebook?” Zoey interrupted, staring at her phone. “Last night. Why?” “Drunk Hazel is my favorite,” Zoey read out loud as she scrolled. “She’s so real. I feel this in my soul.”

Cam snatched the papers out of my hand and rifled through them. I’d never actually heard a grown man growl before. I’d written it plenty of times on the page, but hearing it in real life was a new, exciting experience. Zoey elbowed me. “Wow. Now I get it. Growling’s hot,” she said out of the corner of her mouth. “Told you,” I whispered back.

“How about this pretty lady buys you a Mountain Dew and we call it even?” my hero suggested. Willis gave me one last fierce frown, then nodded. “Make it a two-liter and you got yourself a deal, Lawyer Man.” “Deal,” I agreed hastily. “I only have a twenty. If you have change⁠—” Willis snatched the bill out of my hand. “Nice doin’ business with ya,” he called as he marched toward the store.

“I don’t care if the building is on fire. I’m hungover and unemployed. Let the flames take me,” Zoey said on a groan through the crack in her door Monday morning. “No fire,” I promised. “Is this the hangover from Saturday night, or did you keep drinking all weekend?” She screwed up her face. “What day is it?” “Monday.” “Then I just kept drinking.” “Cool I’m gonna need you to pack a bag