Elizabeth Ray’s Reviews > How to Speak Life to Your Husband: When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him > Status Update

Marriage actually becomes deeper, sweeter, and more intimate when we learn to tell our spouse what makes us feel appreciated, wanted, seen, and loved. Yes, most people think it would be better if their significant other magically knew everything they want to hear on their own, but in actuality, it is our mutual vulnerability to talk about such things that makes the entire relationship truly deep and meaningful.

Being careful about what we say and how we say it is not manipulation. It is knowing and honoring the needs of your spouse—needs that may even be temporary in this moment or situation. Asking God how to wrap your words in a way that doesn’t distract from the actual topic at hand and unnecessarily put your spouse on the defensive is just plain wise.

The idea is to ask God how your words should be spoken so that your husband can hear what you really want to say.

Before we say something to our husbands, we should stop and quickly pray, “God, should I say it?”

Love may be gentle, but it is not weak. Love may be tactful, but it is not withdrawn. Love may be patient, but it is not complacent. The world defines love as offering someone complete approval, agreeing with their viewpoint wholeheartedly and never questioning them—because doing so would break a newly formed sacred commandment of this world.

Keep asking God for the best and creative ways to encourage your man as a husband and, if you have kids, as a dad. God loves to answer these prayers, and he will often use you as you speak words suited to your husband.

The crazy thing was, the more I thanked Dave for the little things, the more I was truly grateful for the things he did. And it allowed me to see more clearly and fully the husband I loved and admired so much. My words were changing my heart.

In much the same way that opening our wallets to give to someone else in need causes us to become more generous persons, opening our mouths to speak life to those around us causes us to become godlier persons—and consequently, less depressed, more positive, and more contented persons as well.

None of us make it through parenting without hurting our kids. No individual is one-dimensional. We are more complex than that. This complexity is why it’s hard to balance the truth that my parents were great people with the fact that I often didn’t receive as much attention as my siblings.

feeling genuine respect, honor, and affirmation from the person I love the most in this world changed my life.