alba ’s Reviews > The Journals of Sylvia Plath: 1950-1962 > Status Update

"This is the month which ends a quarter of a century for me, lived under the shadow of fear: fear that I would fall short of some abstract perfection: I have often fought, fought & won, not perfection, but an acceptance of myself as having a right to live on my own human, fallible terms. Attitude is everything."

"I have this demon who wants me to run away screaming if I am going to be flawed, fallible. It wants me to think I'm so good I must be perfect. Or nothing. I am, on the contrary, something: a being who gets tired, has shyness to fight, has more trouble than most facing people easily. If I get through, kicking my demon down when it comes up, I'll be able to face life, instead of running from it the minute it hurts."

"just now I pick up the blessed diary of Virginia Woolf which I bought with a battery of her novels. I feel my life linked to her, somehow. But her suicide, I felt I was reduplicating in black summer of 1953. Only I couldn't drown. I suppose I'll always be over-vulnerable, slightly paranoid. But I'm also so damn healthy & resilient. And apple-pie happy"

just now I pick up the blessed diary of Virginia Woolf which I bought with a battery of her novels. I feel my life linked to her, somehow. But her suicide, I felt I was reduplicating in black summer of 1953. Only I couldn't drown. I suppose I'll always be over-vulnerable, slightly paranoid. But I'm also so damn healthy & resilient. And apple-pie happy.