Emma’s Reviews > Famesick > Status Update

“…crying as much at the rejection as at my own stupidity. at the force at which i tried to hurl myself at an unmovable object. the pieces of myself i have given away.”

“i would remain, i had become the person i had once hoped to be, not perfect, not blameless, not shameless, but total. i wasn’t going to give this new found sense of myself up for anyone. no matter what they promised, no matter how they touched me or didn’t touch me, saw me or didn’t see me.”

“but a crisis only arises if you’re expecting a smooth journey, i was still reaching for the idea that some things could just be”

“i felt myself say goodbye to all of this knowing and being known and tried to summon a perfect response, something that expressed that i knew all the ways that this has been hard, all the ways i have been hard, hard to corral, hard to understand, hard to love”

“instead i told myself good people deserve a chance to be good, that it takes patience to dig it out of them, that what was most important was the sweetness at their core, maybe i just needed someone to believe that about me.”

his time in the army or his love of gun ranges, was a twee passion for old school americana but then if that was the case, wouldn’t he just play the banjo?

“our whole culture values the potential of life more than the existence of it, and women as vessels for that life more than as sentient beings”

“but to express any of this skillfully would only be possible with a kind of high level egoless communication that rarely defines mother daughter bond”