Sarah Shahin’s Reviews > Advice No One Asked For: Essays > Status Update

The act of writing my little feelings down forces me to focus on them instead of avoiding them. With that focus often comes some calm. And with calm comes fewer denim jackets.

So why did I buy all that stu ? Because both of those magazine articles did the exact same thing: They preyed on my nervousness. They told me to channel my nervousness into purchases—to convert my feelings into dollars.

And by the time you hit middle age you will have met them all. The Solid Friend. The Mean Girl. The Boss Who Takes Credit for Your Work. The Friend with the Big Personality Who Is Very Fun at Parties but Isn’t There When You Really Need Them. The Quiet Friend Who Doesn’t Party but Who, if You Killed a Man, Would Help You Bury the Body No Questions Asked.

When I was younger, I was concerned with looking cool and on-trend. I was trying to look like everyone else. Now when I get ready in the morning I’m just trying to look like the best version of me.

I have a lot of positive qualities. I’m not sure what they are—I’ll have to circle back to you on that. I’m sure there are some.

But the most surprising bene t for me has been that I keep getting hit with big, tough questions. And when I try to answer them for my son, it forces me to answer them for myself.

When you pitch, you win.