Fahdii Ajmalal Fikrie’s Reviews > The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read [and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did] > Status Update

"Look into a baby's eyes and you'll see nothing but sincerity. I believe our children, whatever their age, deserve nothing less from us. Distraction is not sincere on the part of the parent and it is manipulative. It can also be an insult to a child's intelligence."

michael corleone????

"Distraction is a tactic favoured by parents to divert children from having whatever experience they may be having. It's commonly used, but it's rarely appropriate.

That's because distraction is a trick and, in the long term, being manipulated will not help your child develop a capacity for happiness."

whoa!

"--- having to hide how we really feel, not having our thoughts and feelings accepted as they occur, these types of dynamics can put a brake on developing our aptitude for intimacy and our capacity for happiness."

"The way we learn to relate to our parents and siblings is habit-forming, a blueprint for all our later relationships. If we get into a groove of having to be right, having to be the best, having to have material things, ---"

"When you are wishing for your child's happiness, despite what the gods of consumerism have drilled into our skulls,

this is probably not about having stuff. Nor is it about being the cleverest, the richest, the tallest, or the shiniest, or anything else.

It is about the quality of their relationships."

cataaaaaat

This is a truth that should be universally acknowledged: when you try to block out a 'negative' feeling, you remove positive feelings too. As therapist Jerry Hyde says, 'Emotions don't have a mixing board — they just have a master volume. You can't fade out sadness and pain and fade up happiness and joy. You turn one down, they all go down.'

"--- There are no advertisements showing ordinary-looking people working through their demons, learning to accept inevitable pain and finding their spontaneity and joy in that way."

another example of how the talks of parenting in this book intersect with so many things outside being a parent itself alias bisa banget nic bagian ini w patrikan sehari-hari wkwk

"We can be unconsciously led astray by pictures of smiling, laughing, attractive people amid wonderful architecture, gleaming cars and beautiful objects, and such images condition us to assume, without putting anything into words, that this is what we want. ---"

"People often have goals in life and assume attaining these goals will make them 'happy'. Sometimes they may, but often our assumptions about what will make for a satisfying life are wrong."

jangan terlalu yg diiniiniin banget gilaaa (alias gw banget tuh)

"Parents tend to take it for granted that what they think would make them happy will make their children happy, but this isn't necessarily the case — as you have most likely found out.

You may feel like a failure if your child seems unhappy and rather than feeling such an uncomfortable feeling, you may, like my father, have tried to scold your children into happiness."

happens