lili rudorfer’s Reviews > An Apprenticeship or The Book of Pleasures > Status Update

“Without pain, she’d been left with nothing, lost in her own world and in the wider world without any connection to people.”

This quote stopped me in my tracks; feels like a wild pony reference…

“There’s a being who lives inside me as if it were his house, and it is. It’s a black and shiny horse that despite being completely wild — for it never lived in anyone before nor has anyone ever bridled and saddled it — despite being completely wild it has for precisely that reason the primal sweetness of someone who is not afraid.”

“Having glimpsed her whole body in the mirror, she thought that protection would also mean no longer being one single body: being one single body would give her, as it did now, the impression of being cut off from herself.”

This reminds me of being in the trenches of being in a bad relationship but being too scared to cut it off

“pretends she doesn’t drop her arms in confusion when the threads of gold she’s been spinning get tangled and she doesn’t know how to undo the fine cold thread, pretends she’s clever enough to undo the knots of ship’s rope that were binding her wrists, pretends she has a basket of pearls just in order to look at the color of the moon since she is luna”