Jeff’s Reviews > Swashbucklers > Status Update

How did the author want us to picture this exactly:

She tucked into a roll and went sliding through a bunch of homework, the sword whistling over her head.

A "bunch of homework"? Like a burlap bag full of Santa's letters in Miracle on 32nd Street? A stack of stapled worksheets seems more likely, but how does someone slide through it? Maybe an arrangement of craft projects? Thanks for nothing with this imagery.

Continually baffling. All the buildup about them being ghostbusters and goonies and monster squad and then they get to the scene with their proton packs--after two chapters of building suspense--to fight Henry VII who throws drumsticks and student desks.

So, he may not be called "Rockbiter," but we've essentially got the stone giant from Neverending Story warning someone about Hook from Peter Pan. And I bet he'll be nowhere near as fun as Robin Williams. To call this derivative is generous, but it's pretty incongruous with the opening homage of monster amnesia and Georgie and Doc and mentions of a magnum opus, no matter how you feel about this section.

The seams are widening.

The premise behind the weapons is incredibly cool and were it fleshed out, could probably carry this action-adventure, but right now, it's a lot of pressure on our tenuous suspension of disbelief to insist on these "weapons" affecting real-world objects.

“Wait for my signal. Cisco, you and I are going to make a run for it. We’ll be the bait. Keep firing at Father Christmas, weaken him a bit more, and as soon as we’ve drawn him into the shadow of the wheel, I’ll punch out the supports underneath.”

...Oh and do you guys remember the car full of kids we left vulnerable and unsupervised in a parking garage a couple pages ago? Nah, me neither. Let's blast 'em!

This first action scene has syfy-channel depth: all sound effects, bright flashes and catch phrases.

Little bit lacking in character development and transitions here. Stories like Fun Times at the Bloodbath and Meat Bees capture a similar spirit without being facile and reductive.

NOT THE PARAMOUNT! You slimeballs!
...
IYKYK

"...there had apparently been a whole magical part of that story that had fallen out of his brain."

Just dawned on me that his kid's name is George.