Sean Hernandez’s Reviews > An Impossible Marriage: What Our Mixed-Orientation Marriage Has Taught Us About Love and the Gospel > Status Update

“There is rarely good fruit without deep suffering”

“When we are in the middle of a shame storm, it feels virtually impossible to turn again to see the face of someone, even someone we might otherwise feel safe with. It is as if our only refuge is in our isolation; the prospect of exposing what we feel activated our anticipation of further shame.”

Hiding because of toxic shame begets hiding because of toxic shame.”

I wish men knew how to navigate this better

“Contempt is our way to manage shame with a level of control that annihilates ourselves so that we don’t feel….Whether it’s self contempt….or other-centered contempt, in either form it’s the same brick but directed in a very different direction. It ultimately lessens our sense of shame but in the long run, it only intensifies it.”

Contempt never helps us grow. Kindness does