пташатко’s Reviews > Eileen > Status Update

You can think what you want, that I was vicious and conniving, that I was selfish, delusional, so twisted and paranoid that only death and destruction would satisfy me, make me happy. You can say I had a criminal mind, I was pleased only by the suffering of others, what have you.

yes to all of the above 🙂‍↕️

It couldn’t have hurt that much, I said to myself. Couldn’t be that bad, I thought. And Lee never said anything, so I figured it was OK. Maybe I’d been confused all along about men, I thought. Maybe all men do this with their sons. / So I got used to it. And then I figured, if he was clean, it would be better for all of us. Maybe I wouldn’t get those infections.

сука я ДУРЄЮ

As awful as that sounds, love is like that sometimes. It will make you rape your own son.

психологиня 10/10 звісно нічо не скажеш 🤩👍

I knew what I was hiding—my disappointment, my foiled fantasies, my longing. What Rebecca was hiding, and why, was utterly mysterious to me.

Since she was overweight, I assumed she was an idiot—I still tend to judge those types as gluttons, fools /

She seemed so dowdy, so pitiful, like a sow awaiting slaughter.

🙃

I hoped they saw right through my death mask to my sad and fiery soul, though I doubt they saw me at all.

My death mask didn’t seem to perturb her at all. It always peeved me when my flatness was met with good cheer, good manners. Didn’t she know I was a monster, a creep, a crone? How dare she mock me with courtesy when I deserved to be greeted with disgust and dismay?

And like all intelligent young women, I hid my shameful perversions under a facade of prudishness. Of course I did. It’s easy to tell the dirtiest minds—look for the cleanest fingernails.

The idea that my brains could be untangled, straightened out, and thus refashioned into a state of peace and sanity was a comforting fantasy.