Ella’s Reviews > Happy Place > Status Update

I'd rather argue with you than not talk, and whether we're together or we're not, I'm yours, so let's be to-gether, Harriet. As much as we can. As long as we can. As soon as we can. Everything else, we'll figure out later.

"Because there's nowhere I wouldn't go for you. And if you get out to Montana and realize there's somewhere else you need to be, there's nothing I'm not willing to do to make it work. I'd rather have you five days a year than anyone else all the time.

Before I knew Wyn, I could have been okay without him. Now
I'll always feel the place he isn't.
Want is a kind of thief. It's a door in your heart, and once you know it's there, you'll spend your life longing for whatever's behind it.

"Do you want me to promise I'll love you forever, Marriet?" he whispers. "Because I will"
An ice-cold rush of adrenaline, a spurt of terror, a whole-body bracing, every muscle drawing tight to keep the words from sinking into my heart.
Because it won't matter.
Because he can promise me anything, but in the end, feelings could come and go, and we'll be powerless to stop the change.

Everything is changing. It has to. You can't stop time.
All you can do is point yourself in a direction and hope the wind will let you get there. Another maritime metaphor. I am truly a locals worst nightmare. But the point stands: change happens.

"And you should have known I didn't want anyone else" My voice splinters apart, my heart going with it. "You should have known that you were it for me, from the night we met. I would have done anything to fix it, but you wouldn't fight for me. You said you would, and I believed you, Wyn. And I understand why you couldn't. But I haven't forgiven you for breaking my heart. "

"It's okay to walk away," he says. "Everyone says Don't go to bed angry, but sometimes a person needs time to think. And if you need that, it's okay, but you should tell me, because otherwise.." His jaw flexes on a swallow. "Otherwise, the person might assume you're leaving for good."

Of coming home, sick to my stomach, and cleaning the apart-ment. As if scrubbing the grout and the condiment splatters on the kitchen cabinets could make everything about my life look differ-ent. Make me different.
I remember standing in my kitchen, my phone clamped in one
hand, wishing there were someone to call.

The silence leaves too much room for questions, for memories to vine around me, hold me captive.
Not just of the fight but of the dark place, of the weeks before and after losing Wyn. Of crying into a pillow that smelled like him, and waking up from dreams of him, my chest filled with knots. Of trying to flush him from my system with a double date

"Now." She nods, glances toward the dining room again. "But that's the kind of boy who's going to want to move home and start having kids. He's going to want someone who's at home, who has a life that matches his. I pictured you with someone who had a bit more going on, who wouldn't expect more from you than you were able to give."