Brian Sirith’s Reviews > Rosemear > Status Update

´[The dog had] gotten pregnant on one of the many occasions the dog-sitter had lost her.’

Sooo, Nate is a moron who won’t spay his dog and hires a moronic dog sitter who loses his dog.

But yay! Puppies for the kids!

He was—gulp—killed with a pitchfork.

And I was immobilized where I stood. If the house caught fire, I would have burned to death.”
“Even if Jason Momoa was waiting across the room?”

I don’t get it. Are the characters in this book serious? Are they real? Do they ever talk about anything without a wise crack? Cause they don’t act like normal humans.

“See anything?” Isabella asked.
“Not sure. It’s darker than my ex’s heart out there.”

“Is this an ‘A’ near it?”
“No clue. My near-vision sucks donkey ass.”

I mean… what the…???

“It’s darker than a witch’s a-hole down there.”
“Seen a lot of those, have ya?”
“A lot of what?” Luna said absently, still eyeing the darkened hallway.
“Witches’ a-holes.”
“Seen my fair share.”
“I’m sorry,” Isabella joked.
“Don’t be. It brings perspective to my profession.”
“Perspective? Are we still talking about assholes here?”

This while investigating a dark silhouette.

Who moves into a new house before getting the electricity and internet set up? Lanterns? 🤦‍♂️

And this is why my friends I usually read books set hundreds of years ago. Because I don’t think… oh come on! They would be using tallow not wax! Ridiculous!

In our case… lanterns? Really?

Ah wait! The assistant he had an affair with is relocating too. But he is looking for another assistant. She’s just moving to another city to be his temporary assistant till he finds someone he has not slept with.

And his wife is… ok with moving to the obviously haunted house next to the husbands gf. Ok.

Tempted to DNF.

Estate agent: There was a brutal murder 200 years ago. Then all three families living here met with a tragedy. The last one escaped and left the dirty dishes we refuse to clean.

Child 1: Mommy look! The invisible people at the window don’t want us here.

Child 2: Hey! Are there ghosts here?

Husband: This house looks great! And my hot assistant is happy to move next door too!

… Yeah. Let’s buy the house. 🙄