Zana’s Reviews > The Odyssey > Status Update

‘Odysseus already had a plan. “Telemachus and I will keep the suitors trapped in the hall—however much they rage. You two, truss up his hands and feet behind him, drag him inside the storeroom, string him up, tying a knotted rope high on the column, and hoist him to the rafters. Torture him with hours of agony before he dies.”’

He would know a thing or two about death and destruction huh 😶

“He aimed his deadly arrow at Antinous. The young man sat there, just about to lift his golden goblet, swirling wine around, ready to drink.... Odysseus aimed at his throat, then shot. The point pierced all the way through his soft neck. He flopped down to the side and his cup slipped out of his hand. A double pipe of blood gushed from his nostrils.”

GET HIM

“So he had tricked them all. After examining the mighty bow carefully, inch by inch—as easily as an experienced musician stretches a sheep-gut string around a lyre’s peg and makes it fast—Odysseus, with ease, strung the great bow. He held it in his right hand and plucked the string, which sang like swallow-song, a clear sweet note.”

OH SH-

‘“...Let me give him a welcome gift, so he can give gifts to the bath attendant or some other house slave here in the palace.” Then he grabbed an ox-foot from the basket, and he hurled it 300 towards Odysseus, who smoothly ducked, bowing his head, and smiled in scornful rage...’

Me earlier: I fucking hate Odysseus

Me now: KILL THESE DAMN SUITORS, ODYSSEUS!!!!

‘“Stranger! Are you still here, still causing trouble, with begging and annoying those inside? I promise you a beating if you stay! Your begging is not welcome! This is not the only place in Greece where there is food.”’

These goddamn goat herders... WTF is their issue???

‘And then Melantho scolded Odysseus again. “Hey! Stranger! Will you keep causing trouble, roaming round our house at night and spying on us women here? Get out, you tramp! Be happy with your meal! Or you will soon get pelted with a torch! Be off!”’

We got slaves shitting on homeless people too damn

Bro why are the beggars (Odysseus in disguise and an actual beggar) fighting while the suitors are goading them on??? 😭😭 It's giving UFC match on the white house lawn

‘Antinous said, “Haha, you big show-off! You would be better dead than so afraid of some old man worn down by suffering. If this man beats you, proving he is stronger, I will toss you on board a ship and send you off to King Echetus in mainland Greece, the lord of cruelty and pain. He will cut off your nose and ears with pitiless bronze, and then your genitals, and he will give them raw to his dogs to eat.”’

Bro???

‘Sharp-witted Odysseus drew back from him and said, “You handsome idiot! You would not give a grain of salt from your own house. You sit enjoying someone else’s food, and yet you will not give a crumb from this great banquet to me.” Antinous was furious, and scowling said, “That does it! You insult me? You lost the chance to leave with dignity!” He lifted up his stool and hurled it at Odysseus’ right shoulder...’ omg

‘Antinous replied, “What god imposed this pest to spoil our feast? Stay over there, not near my table—or you can get lost! Get killed in Egypt or enslaved in Cyprus! You barefaced beggar! You come up to us, 450 and these men give you treats unthinkingly; we have so much, and people do not mind sharing another person’s wealth.”’

👁️👄👁️