Zana’s Reviews > The Iliad > Status Update

‘As in the valleys of a mountainside when someone sees a snake and startles back, their body trembles and their cheeks turn pale and off they run—so godlike Paris, frightened of Menelaus, son of Atreus, drew back among the throng of Trojan fighters. But Hector saw him and reproached and shamed him.

“Pathetic Paris! Womanizer! Cheat! You are the very best at looking pretty. Oh, how I wish that you had never lived or

“One brother came to war dressed in gold ornaments, just like a girl. These baubles did not save his life, poor fool! The grandson of Aeacus, swift Achilles seized hold of him and killed him in the river. The victor took possession of his gold.”

👁️👄👁️

“[Achilles] was far superior, as were his horses. But he lay beside his fleet of steady, curving boats and raged at Agamemnon, shepherd of the people.”

Is he gonna do anything other than pout and be a brat bc Agamemnon stole the girl that Achilles basically kidnapped orrrr

Homer naming every single Ancient Greek town and all the NPCs in both armies like I've been dragged into someone's 3000 year old D and D campaign

‘“You sit there and criticize the son of Atreus, Lord Agamemnon, shepherd of the people, because the Greeks have given him so much. You keep complaining, but I tell you this, and swear that it will surely come to pass, if I find out that you continue acting as stupidly as you are doing now...”

With that, Odysseus began to use his staff to thrash Thersites on his shoulders till he hunched over, sobbing...’

Bruh

‘“You much prefer to saunter through the mighty Greek encampment and steal from any man who speaks against you. Cannibal king, you eat your people up! You are a leader of nonentities!”’

Aura farm this aura farm that. Agamemnon sounds useless af

‘Achilles, son of Peleus, again berated Agamemnon with harsh words. His anger was not over yet. He said, “You dog-face! Drunk and heavy with your wine! You have the heart and courage of a deer! You never dare to put your armor on and march to battle with the common troops, or join the finest fighters on a raid. That seems like death to you....”’

This shit is sending me 💀 get em!!!

‘“...So I will go back home to Phthia now, in my curved ships, because that is much better. I will not stay here to be disrespected, serving up wealth and revenue for you!”

And Agamemnon, lord of men, replied, “Then off you go, if that is what you want! I certainly will not be begging you to stay at Troy for me....”’

The girls are fighting 👀

Me reading the Odyssey: "god I fucking hate Agamemnon, Menelaus and Odysseus"

Me reading the Iliad: "time to see what these fuckers were up to so I can hate them some more!"

The translator's note is like 40 minutes long in the audiobook 🫠