k. rowan’s Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey > Status Update

There he is, staring at me and finding me lacking.
I pretend to read the article, all the time meeting his steady gaze, searching the photo for some clue as to why he’s not the man for me. And suddenly it’s blindingly obvious. He’s too gloriously good-looking. We are poles apart, from two very different worlds. This is what he meant, and it makes his rejection easier to accept..almost.
I can live with this.

“There was that guy in my chemistry class who liked me, but no one has ever sparked my interest. I should be kinder to the likes of Paul and José. I’m sure neither of them has been found sobbing alone in dark places.
Perhaps I just need a good cry.
Stop! Stop now! my subconscious is screaming at me. Get in the car, go home, do your studying. Forget about him. Now! Stop all this self-pitying, wallowing crap.”

“Why am I crying? I sink to the ground, angry at myself for this senseless reaction. [I let] the irrational tears fall unrestrained. I am crying over the loss of something I never had. How ridiculous. Mourning something that never was.”