Jess’s Reviews > Is This a Cry for Help? > Status Update

We’ll change throughout our lives, & that’s ok. We don’t have to have a “best version” of ourselves & we don’t have to dwell on past versions that weren’t as authentic. Freeing ourselves from restrictive norms & harmful relationships is key to growing into yourself.

Maybe the cats not getting along is an allegory for the opposing parties in the book 🤓

Classic parent not understanding the internet; classic conservative looking to slander someone minding their own business! & Joy put it perfectly; representation helps us feel more comfortable & confident. In addition, multiple perspectives/seeing stories about people different from us increases empathy, understanding, & even still, our knowledge of ourselves!

Ofc it took me so long to differentiate between a lack of romantic/sexual attraction to men & just tolerating men bc I have to have one! I was raised to expect little of them, but that they’re still necessary at the end bc it somehow equals true happiness & success!

-with them is a chore we have to accept bc we need to have a bf/husband for social status & SAFETY. That way, you’re viewed as a good, productive person bc you’re attached to a man! How Darcy states that a lot of straight women who are attracted to men still must feel symptoms of comphet is GREAT! Like yes! Love is EQUAL & HONEST! Not what society teaches us, regardless of sex, gender, or sexuality!

-discomfort. Not just bc she didn’t know she wasn’t even into men, but bc the way he treated her as less than him was so LAYERED. & I haven’t seen many people discuss what Darcy describes as comphet; sure, we all know straight is the norm. But we’re also anticipating that women have to simply tolerate men; that sex will be bad, that we’ll have to clean up after them literally & emotionally, that being-

I also like the partnership between Darcy & Joy; it seems equitable, supportive, & compassionate. The details about Darcy’s comphet & her realizing Ben sucked are so REAL! He subtly belittled her opinions, subconsciously always prioritized his preferences. She pushed down her boundaries, had to constantly perform. There was comfort/intimacy in their relationship, but always an underlying feeling of instability &-

I LOVE THIS! The author must’ve literally been watching me bc this is so relatable 😭 I’m not even halfway through! The way she describes her realizing that she was a lesbian experiencing comphet/internalized misogyny & that her ex-bf wasn’t as great a person as she thought at the time are almost identical to my past. I think this a great reflection of what it’s like to be a queer woman :’)

-induced memory loss, have cats, a wife (gf)… I’m excited to read about the library advocacy in this book too.

I find the MC, Darcy, very relatable! I’m assuming she had a mental health crisis as a result of Ben’s death bc it brought up a lot of existential dread/pondering. She feels as if her life is split between who she is now (more confident, self-assured, healthy) & who she was at 23 (people pleasing, didn’t voice opinions, conformist). I’ve undergone a lot of lifestyle changes too. I also have trauma/stress-