Troy Terwilliger’s Reviews > It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle > Status Update
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 68 of 256
Carl Rogers and other personality theorist would argue that a professional and effective therapist be congruent. Unfortunately for Mr. Wolynn, I do not see any evidence of this. The author reiterates again and again that life begins and ends at the communion of parent and child, reinforcing false claims that victims of child abuse, etc., need reconciliation. Projecting mommy issues onto clients, he overgeneralizes.
— Sep 13, 2026 04:15PM
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Troy’s Previous Updates
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 164 of 256
“Reconciliation is mostly an internal movement. Our relationship with our parents is not dependent on what they do, how they are, or how they respond. It's about what we do. The change occurs in us.”
— Nov 04, 2026 08:53PM
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 96 of 256
pg. 96, “When family members lead unhappy lives or suffer an extremely difficult fate, it's often easier to reject them than to feel the pain of loving them. Anger is often an easier emotion to feel than sadness. It appears that this was the case in regard to how the family angrily treated this sister. It was easier to reject her than to love her.
— Sep 20, 2026 03:25PM
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 91 of 256
Written Exercise #1: Investigating Your Core Complaint
1. Focus on a problem that's most pressing in your life right now. It might be an issue with your health, your job, your relationship-any issue that disrupts your sense of safety, peace, security, or well-being.
2. What is the deepest issue you want to heal? Maybe it's a symptom or a feeling you've had all your life.
— Sep 20, 2026 02:07PM
1. Focus on a problem that's most pressing in your life right now. It might be an issue with your health, your job, your relationship-any issue that disrupts your sense of safety, peace, security, or well-being.
2. What is the deepest issue you want to heal? Maybe it's a symptom or a feeling you've had all your life.
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 89 of 256
P.89, “When we examine the words of a core complaint, we trust the words implicitly. We don't always trust the context, however. The words themselves are generally true for someone—not necessarily us. Discovering who that someone is requires a peek behind the curtain into our family history.”
— Sep 20, 2026 01:59PM
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 80 of 256
Much like in the realm of “immature parents”, we can ask ourselves a solid question: ‘Why did this person who said they loved me so much, spend so much time trying to scare me?’
— Sep 15, 2026 01:37PM
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 79 of 256
“telepathically or epigenetically inherited” is stronger than what Wolynn actually needs to claim. His language about an “unconscious connection” and “violent feelings that weren’t his” is suggestive and causal, but the book doesn’t establish a mechanism by which the grandfather’s specific violent experience entered Todd’s psyche. That’s precisely the evidentiary problem….
— Sep 13, 2026 07:54PM
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 69 of 256
“Your job is to reconnect with the love you naturally felt for her when you were small. In this way, you can let go of what you might be carrying that actually belongs to her.”
— Sep 13, 2026 04:27PM
Troy Terwilliger
is on page 66 of 256
The author seems to rely on confirmation bias often by making generalized claims in the same strain as horoscopes. Sometimes comforting? Sometimes vague? I do think the open-ended questions are deep enough to read with someone you are comfortable being vulnerable with however most of the eureka moments happen likely within the reader as opposed to due the author’s genius.
— Sep 13, 2026 03:51PM