Myrtle’s Reviews > Allow Me to Introduce Myself > Status Update

I’m not buying whatever they’re trying to sell with this cheap redemption arc for Ophelia

I don’t like her characterisation, everyone’s kind of an archetype her bad bitch bestie jus emptied six cups of coffee down the drain because a man she spent the night with on the phone sent them and because her one colleague said her skirt was short. I don’t love this song

Not being funny her parents should be in jail

She was not a person who let life happen to her

Why would anyone choose any other drink if an alcoholic one was also on offer? This is how dependencies were created, gradually. This is what I mean very tell not show.

I really want to like this book, but I don't know why it feels over-written. A sentence can't pass without a simile, metaphor, cultural reference, joke or deep prose. Also, I want to be able to most past the characters as caricatures: the evil white money-obsessed step-mother, the negligent Nigerian father, the traumatised, alcoholic former-child star, the love interest who is obsessed with her from day one.

Nah pardon my actual ignorance, I didn’t realise the Ophelia babe was white. Wtf

“It was this or cutting” is crazy work