alba ’s Reviews > Notes from Underground > Status Update

"the enjoyment was just from the intense consciousness of one's own degradation; it was from feeling oneself that one had reached the last barrier; that there was no escape for you; that you never could become a different man; that even if time and faith were still left you to change into something different you would most likely not wish to change; because perhaps in reality there was nothing for you to change into"

"The more conscious I was of goodness and
of all that was "good and beautiful," the more deeply I sank into my mire and the more ready I was to sink in it altogether.
But the chief point was that all this was, as it were, not accidental in me, but as though it were bound to be so. It was as though it were my most normal condition, and not in the least disease or depravity"

"The more conscious I was of goodness and
of all that was "good and beautiful," the more deeply I sank into my mire and the
more ready I was to sink in it altogether.
But the chief point was that all this was,
as it were, not accidental in me, but as though it were bound to be so. It was as
though it were my most normal condition, and not in the least disease or
depravity"