Molly’s Reviews > Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know > Status Update

Yet research shows that how often parents argue has no bearing on their children’s academic, social, or emotional development. What matters is how respectfully parents argue, not how frequently. Kids whose parents clash constructively feel more emotionally safe in elementary school, and over the next few years they actually demonstrate more helpfulness and compassion toward their classmates.

Every time we encounter new information, we have a choice. We can
attach our opinions to our identities and stand our ground in the
stubbornness of preaching and prosecuting. Or we can operate more like
scientists, defining ourselves as people committed to the pursuit of truth—
even if it means proving our own views wrong.

Psychologists find that admitting we were wrong doesn’t make us look less competent. It’s a display of honesty and a willingness to learn. Although scientists believe it will damage their reputation to admit that their studies failed to replicate, the reverse is true: they’re judged more favorably if they acknowledge the new data rather than deny them.

Research suggests that the more frequently we make fun of ourselves, the happier we tend to be.* Instead of beating ourselves up about our mistakes, we can turn some of our past misconceptions into sources of present amusement.

If you want to be a better forecaster today, it helps to let go of your commitment to the opinions you held yesterday. Just wake up in the morning, snap your fingers, and decide you don’t care. It doesn’t matter who’s president or what happens to your country. The world is unjust and the expertise you spent decades developing is obsolete! It’s a piece of cake, right?

???

“It’s not a lie if you believe it.” I might add that it doesn’t become the truth just because you believe it. It’s a sign of wisdom to avoid believing every thought that enters your mind. It’s a mark of emotional intelligence to avoid internalizing every feeling that enters your heart.

That’s where the best forecasters excelled: they were eager to think
again. They saw their opinions more as hunches than as truths—as
possibilities to entertain rather than facts to embrace. They questioned ideas before accepting them, and they were willing to keep questioning them even after accepting them. They were constantly seeking new information and better evidence—especially disconfirming evidence.

Better judgment doesn’t necessarily require hundreds or even dozens of updates. Just a few more efforts at rethinking can move the needle. It’s also worth noting, though, how unusual that level of rethinking is. How many of us can even remember the last time we admitted being wrong and revised our opinions
accordingly?

Who you are should be a question of what you value, not what you
believe. Values are your core principles in life—they might be excellence
and generosity, freedom and fairness, or security and integrity. Basing your
identity on these kinds of principles enables you to remain open-minded
about the best ways to advance them

Most of us are accustomed to defining ourselves in terms of our beliefs,
ideas, and ideologies. This can become a problem when it prevents us from
changing our minds as the world changes and knowledge evolves. Our
opinions can become so sacred that we grow hostile to the mere thought of being wrong, and the totalitarian ego leaps in to silence counterarguments,squash contrary evidence, and close the door on learning.