Jess’s Reviews > The Dream of a Common Language > Status Update

While patriarchy keeps mostly men in power, & restricts women’s freedoms, much of society’s foundation is still built by women. We cultivate empathy, create community with each other, preserve memory, take care of people, etc. I love Adrienne Rich’s mission of establishing a society without domination.

Children are pitted against their mothers as they grow; as they’re taught that to be a woman is to be inferior. Similarly, this instills competition between siblings & ostracizing should they choose to live a nontraditional lifestyle. Grief can bring fear, & we don’t always say what we want to, bc we’re afraid. Women are taught to look for men, to seek their guidance & respect their authority. I liked the part-

You must not make art in an attempt to appease others; you must make it for yourself! Similarly, you must live for yourself! We need to discover ourselves & pursue our dreams. Also, how sad it is that Clara and Paula couldn’t fully embrace their art bc they were women, not to mention that they had to be forced into marriage & children, which ultimately killed Clara.

-experiences between Rich & her partner were very loving & authentic; mostly private since they couldn’t be properly out in the 70s. :/

I love lesbian poets; our love, emotional intelligence, & expression is so wonderful to see. These love letters feel so genuine & tangible. The part that felt most poignant to me was where Rich said her partner made the unnamable feel nameable, not just for her, but for others too. This is beautiful; the poet admires her lover’s empathy, compassion, & ability to support & empower people. It sounds like the-

The danger is in straying too far; if the lioness leaves her few paces & releases her half hidden power, she’ll be more exposed. More true to herself, yes, but not where she’s “supposed” to be. I interpreted this & the false sense of security gained from conforming to traditional social expectations bs the freedom of being authentic.

There are injustices in the world that we struggle to fight back against & also live through. We are afraid to love bc of the danger of being punished for it. We often lie easily in conversations & art- Rich’s poem made me think of the small talk cliche “How are you?” “Good.” We must be honest, transparent, & vulnerable in the proper situations with the proper people.

Being separated from loved ones (new long-distance dynamics, breakups, falling outs, death) are universal & inevitable experiences. “Splittings” is an apt title from this poem; you’re splitting from that person, but also feel like you’re splitting part internally. Even when people leave, you always have yourself. The absence hurts, but so does remembering the past when they were still with you.

Everyone has a dream or hope to connect with others & to preserve their history & memories. The connecting & memorializing go hand in hand. By daring to achieve or goals, or go down the untrodden path, we honor ourselves & memorialize our legacies. To connect is to love, & vice versa.