Emma Watson’s Reviews > Watch Me > Status Update

"The hell he can," Kenji mutters. "He talks through all the good parts. And anyway, he needs to go, like, shave and shit. Shower a couple of times. Run around the block and release those pheromones. Get ready for romance."
Warner raises an eyebrow at him. "If that's what you do to get ready for romance, I can see why you're single."

"Living with you while you were going through puberty, for example, was unique kind of hell. Sometimes I think you're still going rough puberty."
I scowl.
"I don't like hearing you say the word puberty. In fact, I don't think I need to hear you say that word ever again."

"What makes you think I have any leverage over her?"
"Because she's been saying your name in her dreams." A shock of pleasure moves through me.
"What? Really?"
"No."
"Wow, okay, fuck you."
Warner actually smiles.

"Ten years of living with me, learning from me, and you still resort to profanity. I blame Kent. He raised you to think it was okay to speak like a criminal."
"And Kenji," I point out. "Kenji inspires me on the daily."

"Even now, remembering this, my heart begins an unsteady beat. Holding her had felt natural and easy, as if I'd done it a hundred times. I couldn't understand my reaction to her then, and I don't understand my reaction to her now. All I know is that the instinct to protect her comes so naturally to me that I have to actively work to shut it off."

"You think coming back alive is something to be proud of? You think death is the worst thing that can happen to you?”
“Dying is easy. Enduring your own pain is a mercy. Hell is when you're forced to stay alive, looking on as your enemies take away someone you love-torture someone you love-while you're helpless to save them. Sometimes we pray for death, James. Sometimes making it out alive is worse than death."

I look up to see Warner watching this exchange, studyng me impassively as he pockets the candy. He tugs up his shirtsleeves, then crosses his arms.
He's wearing lavender.
He's the only guy I know who can wear a lavender
crewneck and still be terrifying.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Hey," says Kenji, pointing a gummy bear at my face.
"Language. You know Grandpa Winston is a delicate flower. Profanity wilts his petals."
Winston looks up sharply. “Call me grandpa one more
time, asshole, I dare you-"

"Why'd you call for a meeting if you're not even going to talk to me?"
"I didn't call this meeting," says Kenji. "Warner did. And we're ten minutes early, so technically the meeting hasn't started yet. This is snack time.”
"Yeah," says Winston around a bite of apple. "This is
snack time. We work hard for snack time."

Kenji reaches for another carrot, then nods at Adam.
The snack game gets stronger every day, man. A little peanut butter, too? In its own little container? He takes another bite. "Did you cut these carrots yourself?"