ArchivesofKenya’s Reviews > The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert > Status Update

Repair attempts have a higher success rate when the quality of underlining friendships are enhanced.

Healthy couples do not stonewall each other.

Healthy couples are not belligerent towards one another. Belligerence contains a threat or provocation.

It is not good for either partner to have a sense of superiority over the other.

Do not hold contempt for one another. This can be displayed in name-calling, eye, rolling, mockery, and hostile humor.

How do healthy couples argue?

They do not criticize each other or speak sarcastically to one another. They do not hold contempt towards one another.

When dealing with conflict, happily married couples make a “repair attempt” (any statements or action that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.)

Happily married couples support each other‘s hopes and aspirations and build a sense of purpose into their lives together.

With NSO, everything gets interpreted in an increasingly negative manner. Words said in a neutral tone of voice are taken personally.

Positive Sentiment Override (PSO) vs. Negative Sentiment Override (NSO):

PSO means that a couple positive thoughts about each other and their marriage are so pervasive that they tend to supersede their negative thoughts. Their positivity causes them to feel optimistic about each other and their marriage, to have positive expectations about their lives together, and to give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. These couples tend to know each other intimately— they are well-versed in each other‘s likes, dislikes, personality, quirks, hopes, and dreams. They have a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company.