Vinnesha’s Reviews > We're Going to Need More Wine > Status Update

"'You were fly, dope, and amazing from birth,' I would tell that girl now. 'From the second you took your first breath, you were worthwhile and valid. And I'm sorry you had to wait so long to learn that for yourself.'"

Self-love. Compassion for oneself. There you have it.

"'Two warring ideals in one dark body,' as DuBois wrote; the dark body of a young girl. Each was me, but the constant code-switching--changing my language, demeanor, and identity expression to fit in--left me exhausted."

Girl, I feel you.

On her friends and family getting involved in drugs and gangs: "None of these people changed. The environment around them did. They were all good people who made choices that ended up having insane consequences. But their hearts never changed. They were playing roles assigned to them, the same way I did in Pleasanton. "

A welcome counternarrative to the indoctrination of Blacks as lacking "personal responsibility".

The fact she needed a light-skinned boy to validate her beauty is MADDENING.

There is a conversation to be had regarding light skinned black ppl, and light skinned non black people having a wider range of choice of potential partners in black and brown communities.

"I'm pretty, I thought. Kevin Marshall, this light- skinned boy with green eyes who is not supposed to find me attractive, found me pretty enough to kiss. On the level playing field of Omaha, a guy like Kevin was a huge get, having his pick of the pecking order of skin color that is in place in black and brown communities across the world. And he had picked a chocolate girl like me."

Tarsha Liburd. The only other black girl at her elementary school. And she felt she had to ignore her the entire time, for fear of seeming "blacker" by standing next to her. Ugh this part breaks my heart. But I wonder if Gabrielle ever tried to make contact with her years later? Hmmm...

"Most black people grow accustomed to the fact that we have to excel just to be seen as existing, and this is a lesson passed down from generation to generation. You can either be Super Negro or the forgotten Negro."

And it is problematic that we have internalized this mindset because it is an invisible battle. No matter how outstanding we are, we'll NEVER be seen as equal in this colonized world.

"...I stayed hyperalert to what I called the Black Pitfalls. What were the things that would make me appear blacker? I only ate chicken with a knife and fork...and no fruit on a rind."

I was hyperaware of my blackness in high school. But now I've realized that as long as we have afrocentric features, our blackness will ALWAYS show. Trying to run away from ot is like running away from your shadow. It's impossible.

I want to pour milk on the heads of all the schoolkids who had the nerve to call our dear Gabrielle (or Nickie as she was called) a "nigger".

I don't care if it happened almost forty years ago. Fight me.

Last update on this section: I see WAY too many black fathers compromise their family's well being for the sake of keeping up with the Joneses. It's disgusting because:
1. Having black kids in a white environment is NOT good for them psychologically.
2. Your black family will ALWAYS be black, so stop with the self-hate.
BONUS: The fears Gab's mother had about her black kids raised in white surrounding came to pass.