Christina كريستينا (Taylor's Version)’s Reviews > The Refrigerator Monologues > Status Update

“When Tom says shit like that, the universe rearranges itself to make it true. When I said it, the universe pissed itself laughing.”

“What’s the difference between being dead and having a boyfriend?
Death sticks around.”

“I belong in the refrigerator. Because the truth is, I’m just food for a superhero. He’ll eat up my death and get the energy he needs to become a legend.”

“I didn’t get that script. I was just a deep dark past, the battery of sadness hidden in the hero’s heart. I was Rosaline, for fuck’s sake. Juliet will show up in scene two and teach the torches to burn bright or whatever and I’d hate her, but let’s be real, ladies and gentlemen, he’ll suck her dry too, and we’ll all meet her for tea down here at the Lethe Café. The play is still going.”

“I got an Apple commercial and then a recurring role in the latest iteration of Gorgeous White Teens Inventing Problems for Themselves, a show that can never be cancelled, only renamed.”

“I thought we were a punk rage anthem for the ages. You and me against the world. But all you wanted was a groupie. You could get over Angus dying - Azure dying - you could stomach a psychotic shark out for your blood. But you couldn’t share the fucking mic.”

“He still thought he’d saved me all those years before. That somehow, the Queen of Atlantis has needed a lifeguard. Those good, kind, clean-cut All-American boys comforted him, hugged him (manfully), said they understood him. Nobody deserved a wife like me.”

“Megalodon yelled out lines from his own terrible plays and Avast bellowed about Justin and freedom in a way that made me seriously question my romantic choices...” LOL

“We don’t live in Atlantis because it’s a pristine paradise. We live there because we’re weird, gross aliens and Brooklyn’s full.”

“People who share a secret share a heart.”