Topher Colin’s Reviews > The Queen's Curse > Status Update
Topher Colin
is on page 395 of 481
ACK! freakin evanescence lyrics as a title opener. W. T. F. ?!? more sempervirens backstory. going. going. still going. more. i'll come back in a half hour. still going. qween artride and tirsa the eternal footwoman are just awful. so much temptation all up in here it's like logo tv is airing an early 90s new jack swing latin freestyle club mtv episode featuring corina. and now we're bathing so, bow chicka wow wow...
— Aug 21, 2018 10:26PM
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Topher Colin
is finished
"yes, yes, yes", a thousand times yes... 6 seasons and an ok movie and a bad movie and a wedding! and mr. big really does love carrie! recovering from their climax, several of them (because, women together, and no man has ever, will ever, in eternity infinity hot lava no take-backs) the whole damn thing, just barf.
— Aug 22, 2018 12:00AM
Topher Colin
is on page 471 of 481
'they felt a tingling, sensational electrical shock through their body & a sudden itch on their back... it felt as if they were given a new body part." um.. mix-ups with singular/plural 'they' aside, beast w/two backs - nc-17 much? oh, yeah, & there's a brother behind bars, the point of the whole trip to yo-momma's-mordor to begin with. 'skin to skin, cheek to cheek' - "laaady in reeeeed, is daaahncing with meee."
— Aug 21, 2018 11:54PM
Topher Colin
is on page 440 of 481
"dyke wizardesses after dark" becomes "dorian grey," complete w/fast-forward decay, & empathy, so much empathy. 'careful artride, these rocks, ouch' also, manolo blahniks aren't great for your arches. "panting & sweating heavily, 'i feel sick.'" gurrrl, i know how you feel, i'm reading this book after all. "lady moonlight."??? FF'sS. handing out bad drag names now? "from now on it would be natural magic." wait, what?
— Aug 21, 2018 11:21PM
Topher Colin
is on page 425 of 481
"only room for one qween here." gurrrl, i will cut a bitch. conan the barbarian meets red sonja, but only if it stars hugh hefner's 'girls next door' (w/grace jones cameo, (s)natch). suffocation assassination by pillow becomes barely-there pajama party w/pillow fight. 'love means hurt.' (in related news, "love scars, love wounds, & mars") 'that's not very polite in public' - wait, lesbian magical fireball fart jokes?
— Aug 21, 2018 10:59PM
Topher Colin
is on page 360 of 481
oh-oh-oh it's magic! sensuous erotic curtains wait, no - bleeding grabbing passtionate velvety folds of living orgasms, no drapery rods needed. yup, saw those on HGTV last week. & lesbian witch forcing lesbian queen & lesbian consort into slavery w/nudity, just because. why 'human' trait if it's fantasy & could be anywhere with any beings? so much NBC 'the more you know' platitudes as deep philosophical knowledge.
— Aug 21, 2018 09:47PM
Topher Colin
is on page 323 of 481
they're whisked from a snowstorm to an angel cloud. & they're hungry & tired & can't possibly go on but wanting butt touches. & one thinks she's a lesbian but now there's a hot angel guy & she's not sure. & freakin' enigma/enya lyrics for chapter starter quotes? & a narcissian mirror image water-borne kissing monsters? & thirsty so thirsty perv jokes. LOTR meets D&D meets red sonya meets the L word meets penthouse?
— Aug 20, 2018 01:59PM
Topher Colin
is on page 159 of 481
walking hiking fighting swamping - the magic swamp, where you must be happy & hopeful & unicorny. emphasis on corny. this book is an isle of lesbos lord of the rings, if the hobits & humans had more latent homosexual will-they-won't-they sexual chemistry. while covered in stinky mud. was this originally a slash fiction shipper's novel? also, 'she was the wind & the clouds now filling his mind." patrick swayze much?
— Aug 16, 2018 11:53PM
Topher Colin
is on page 159 of 481
so the only thing 'epic' about this is the herculean effort to get through it. it's awful. lesbian the barbarian, except not as campy and fun. does it still count as a reading challenge book if i DNF it 160 pages in? ooh, now there's a sorceress! *yawn*
— Aug 15, 2018 06:11PM
Topher Colin
is on page 78 of 481
rapey-mcrape-rape and incesty... wtf for a supposed lesbian mystical sword & sandals blah blah story?
— Aug 15, 2018 05:23PM
