Charlotte Kersten’s Reviews > Key to Conflict > Status Update

Apparently Oscar Wilde is a vampire and Count Dracula's lieutenant. Fucking why not? #Themoreyouknow

She's describing literally every person's black leather outfit and I just had visceral flashbacks to tht Harry Potter fanfic My Immortal.

"The Soho district is a wonderful place in London."
This reads like a 5th grader's research report

There are ELVES now and I'm disgusted with myself because of how much happier I am because of it. I've been conditioned to feel joy upon the mention of elves

"He was becoming increasingly isolated: perusing the Internet"
Cant stop thinking about ancient vampire count Aleksi Rachlav just furiously trolling fools on Reddit

"Counting him down into the half sleep of the beta level of his mind"
Not like I expected psychological accuracy from this book but beta waves occur when you are awake...

Okay she just described Tanis's orgasm as Gillian "milking him" and I TRULY would like to die?

Okay sorry for the deluge of updates but if I have to experience this book you have to experience it with me. She just described a dude as "pantie-liquefying" which is.....................CONCERNING?? I shudder to think of what could be causing her clothing to disintegrate into liquid. THAT'S WHAT LIQUEFYING MEANS TALIA

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"The silken ridges of her canal were like tight, wet bands around his thick erection"
Ah yes, spoken like a true person who knows what sex is