Britney’s Reviews > The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help > Status Update

“Conditional love is: I will only love you if you love me. Unconditional love is: I will love you even if you do not love me. It’s really easy to love passing strangers unconditionally. They demand nothing of you. It is really hard to love people unconditionally when they can hurt you.”

“It isn’t what you say to people, it’s more important what you do with them. It’s less important what you do with them than the way you’re with them.”

“There’s no “correct path” to becoming a real artist. You might think you’ll gain legitimacy by going to art school, getting published, getting signed to a record label. But it’s all bullshit, and it’s all on your head. You’re an artist when you say you are. And you’re a good artist when you make somebody else experience or feel something deep or unexpected.”

“Here’s the thing: all of us come from some place of wanting to be seen, understood, accepted, connected. Every single one of us wants to be believed. Artists are often just... louder about it.”

“And to be sure: when you ask, there’s always the possibility of a no on the other side of the request. If we don’t allow for that no, we’re not actually asking, we’re either begging or demanding. But it is the fear of the no that keeps so many of our mouths sewn tightly shut.”

“American culture in particular has instilled in us the bizarre notion that to ask for help amounts to an admission of failure.”

“Everybody struggles with asking. From what I’ve seen, it isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes is—it’s what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one. It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.”