Warwick’s Reviews > Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady > Status Update

Ahh…One of those books where you reach the finish, and turn straight back to the first page to begin again.

No, not really. One of those books where you reach the finish, and sob with relief that your long waking nightmare is finally at an end.

“My heart within me is desolate…For my days are consumed like smoke: and my bones are burnt as the hearth. My heart is smitten and withered like grass: so that I forget to eat my bread.” Yeah, same.

“Oh that my words were now written! Oh that they were printed in a book! that they were graven with an iron pen and lead in the book forever!” And oh that this book went on for 1500 fucking pages!

“If a single woman [in the Isle of Man] prosecutes a single man for a rape…if he be convicted, the deemster, or judge, delivers to the woman a rope, a sword, and a ring; and she has it in her choice to have him hanged, beheaded, or to marry him. One of the two former, I think, should always be her option.”

“Thou’lt observe…that though this was written afterwards, yet I write it as it was spoken, and happened…I know thou likest this lively present-tense manner, as it is one of my peculiars.” No, Lovelace, everyone hates present tense narration.

“I, loving narrative letter-writing above every other species of writing”

You don’t say.

They've taken away Clarissa's pen and paper - bitch is still knocking off 10,000 words a day using an old pencil and backs of envelopes. OK, her family are awful, but to be fair someone does need to stop her. She's like those people on Twitter whose tweets start with (1/78)

"excuse the fanciful prolixity" – bit late for that mate