elstaffe’s Reviews > The Onion Book of Known Knowledge: A Definitive Encyclopaedia Of Existing Information > Status Update

"STATISTICALLY LEAST PROBABLE WAYS TO DIE
... - Getting hit by bus, living, bus turning into very muscular man who beat you to death." (241) hello, Dr. Tingle

"鱼时刻是成功时" (228) You know, phrasing this fake ad like a erectile dysfunction scam email may be slightly xenophobic and racist, but at least the fish references in English are also there in the 汉字. Fish time IS success time

"Ambrose Burnside,
Union Army general who redefined military facial hair, single-handedly devising the sideburns, the broomstache, the whisker tuxedo, Spotsylvania scruff, the wiry wings of God, abolitionist's shock, the senator, cheek marmots, and the Sultan's delight." (218) so many new facial hair style names to love in this paragraph

"Walton, Sam, ... Wal-Mart founder and American businessman who accomplished his goal of starting a discount retail chain store where every citizen could afford to shop and no one could afford to work." (213)

"Vicky Vicky, stage name of Devvick J. Stone, Miss Transgendered Grand Forks, North Dakota, from 1998 to 2003 and celebrity judge from 2004 to present." (210) aaaaaand even more transphobia, damn. Wtf was up with the onion in *checks pub date* 2012?!??!

"Vagina Dentata, Folkloric motif of sharptooth vagina often intended to discourage promiscuity with the threat of castration, despite the fact that teeth on actual vaginas are quite blunt and used primarily for slowly grinding plants and seeds." (202)

"Serpent, snake wearing a necktie or other semiformal attire." (176)

"Radius, farthest distance a line can travel from the center of a circle before realizing there is no escape." (163)

"PREGNANCY ... 22 Weeks
Appearance of external genitalia allows parents to find out which sex their baby will be reassigning with hormones and reconstructive surgery 27 years from now." (155) aaaaand is that more transphobia? Oh look. What a joy.

"Neighbor, person who could be a co-conspirator in your wife's murder, but how to approach him about it? How to approach him about it indeed." (139)