Ashley Nichols’s Reviews > Animals Behaving Badly: Boozing Bees, Cheating Chimps, Dogs with Guns, and Other Beastly True Tales > Status Update

The Hambone Awards:
“The 2010 winner, Ellie the Labrador, ate a beehive full of dead bees after exterminators had sprayed it with pesticide. The vet said she’d be fine, but the owners were the ones who had to deal with the aftereffects: She acted just fine that week, really, but every time she went to the bathroom, she pooped bees. Thousands of bees.”

This book is getting depressing. Like duck rape depressing. “the theory that creatures get smarter because group living is all about competition. That idea is called the Machiavellian intelligence hypothesis.”

“Delhi’s deputy mayor died of head injuries sustained when monkeys attacked him as he was reading the newspaper on his terrace. When he tried to defend himself, he lost his balance and fell.” Wtf fuck kind of anti monkey ballot was he pushing??

Otters on a plane got into coffee. What do they tell their otter friends? Wild time.

“Maine, for instance, there are about six hundred collisions with moose per year.” Wtf is wrong with y’all? All of Maine needs eyeglasses. Can’t even see the meese. Googling if Maine has optometrists.

“In Germany, wild boars commit every offense we’ve seen so far.” Right after the paragraph on snakes hiding in toilets. The first sentence right after. Who had wild boars in their toilet?

There it is. The reason I can’t pee in the dark. Snakes biting asses. Toilet snakes.

“It’s after me,” and then I fell in the flower bed.” I have found my soul mate.

“A rabbit who lives in a pub in England is addicted to gambling with a slot machine.”