Zoë Marriott’s Reviews > Midnight Sun > Status Update

You know, I never used to understand why ppl were creeped out by the age difference in Twilight, since Edward seemed to have about the maturity of a normal teen boy - frozen forever and all that. But now that he's *with* Bella in this book, his voice is so obviously that of a grown man, it IS starting to squick me out. Bella's falling over herself (literally) a clumsy, awkward teen and Edward is... drooling. Ick.

Am I the only one who gets a weird feeling that Edward's first crush was actually Carlisle? I've never met anyone who 'admired' their 'dad' this much, or would would spend this much time thinking about their dad while meadow-snuggling with their beloved.

Edward says of his bare chest/arms: "(...)this was nothing. Just pale skin. Well, extremely pale skin, bent in a slightly inhuman way over the angularity of my inhuman musculature." Um. Ew?

So this may be the most disturbing revelation EVER. Alice: "At some point - if you hadn't come back when you did, if you'd never loved her - you would have come back for her anyway. To... hunt her."

Why isn't anyone talking about this??? Literally, if Edward doesn't get Bella as his girlfriend, he will kill her instead. Those are her options: love him back or die. THIIIS. IS. NOOOOOT. OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Edward is such a bag of cats. He literally has a superiority complex about the EXACT SAME THING that he has an inferiority complex about. Humans are petty, stupid, limited, foolish, shallow, boring and their lives are fleeting and inconsequential - vampires are better in every way! But vampires are dirty, wicked, sinful and monstrous - he'd give anything to be human again!

"She'd been so warm and soft, fitting easily into my own stone shape..." Oblique penis mention no. 10!

I appreciate your attempts at literary allusion here, Smeyer, I can't work out how having Edward compare the mushroom ravioli he makes Bella eat with Persephone's pomegranite seeds could ever evoke any reaction but incredulous sniggering. It's mushroom ravioli! They should have put a plate of THAT on the front cover...

Edward is convinced that he is in deep, pure, everlasting love with Bella - yet he refers to her, at least 50% of the time, as 'the girl'. Like, literally, the fact that she is a female, the only female, who makes his 'monster' 'overflow' is the only feature that matters to him.

Smeyer has written 3 versions of this story, but still not the one I want: the one where Esme & Rosalie & Alice, all victims of male violence, turn on Edward & Jasper & Emmett and tell them to eff off, cos no one is brutalising an innocent girl on their watch.

"Strange, unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core..." I think this is his penis again.