Kat’s Reviews > Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions > Status Update

Teach her about difference. Make difference ordinary. Make difference normal. Teach her not to attach value to difference...not to be fair or to be nice, but merely to be human and practical.

Teach her never to universalize her own standards or experiences. Teach her that her standards are for her alone, and not for other people. This is the only necessary form of humility: the realization that difference is normal.

Teach her never, ever to say such nonsense as "my money is my money and his money is our money." It is vile. And dangerous -- to have that attitude means that you must potentially accept other harmful ideas as well. Teach her that it is NOT a man's role to provide. In a healtyh relationship, it is the role of whoever can provide to provide.

Beware the danger of what I call Feminism Lite...Being a feminist is like being pregnant. You either are or you are not. You either believe in the full equality of men and women or you do not.

...More troubling is the idea, in Feminism Lite, that men are naturally superior but should be expected to "treat women well". No. No. No. There must be more than male benevolence as the basis for a woman's well-being.